My Response

Often when I go for a few days without posting, it's because there's something on my mind, but I'm not actually sure if I should write about it or not because sometimes I care too much what other people think. Not in a self conscious way. It's more like this: I know that people around the world - including many right here in Indonesia - read my blog. And talking to someone face-to-face is different from reading their blog. And I worry about unintentionally misrepresenting myself through my words. And I carry the much bigger weight of being a Westerner living in a Muslim country. In many ways, I feel like I have the reputation of not only America but the entire first world to protect. And so most of the time I try to keep my blog pretty light. I don't want anything I say to be misconstrued in a way that would reflect negatively on my faith, my country, or my part of the world. I know that sometimes I shoot my mouth off when I shouldn't and I could word things better than I do at times. But I'm trying, I really am.

This one time though, I'm going out on a limb and writing about what's bothering me. And before people go misconstruing my words, believe me when I say this: it has nothing to do with race or education or third world status or poverty or even religion. No, what is bothering me is a simple matter of right and wrong.

I am saddened and disappointed by Indonesian response to the movie "The Innocence of Muslims".

Two nights ago, I mentioned my disappointment regarding the recent behavior of protesters at the US Embassy in Jakarta in a Facebook status. In response, I was called a finger pointer and asked why I'm not expressing disappointment that the inciting film was even made and why I'm blaming the protesters for their anger instead of blaming the director for his blasphemous work. Other people began to comment in response to THAT response, and by the time I woke up the next morning, I had 17 comments written by several different people - all Facebook friends of mine, but few of whom actually knew each other - full of frustration and judgement without any understanding of who they were talking to or the other people's worldviews. That disappointed me too. I deleted the entire thread.

Let me be clear. I DO NOT in any way agree with, condone, or support a single second of the content of that video. Yes, I've watched it. It has been blocked in Indonesia, but I am roughly 19% tech savvy and I found a way to watch it anyways. Not because I had any personal interest in watching it, but because I wanted to be aware and knowledgeable. It was awful and horrific and blasphemous and hurtful and I cringed through most of it. I am embarrassed that it came from America. And I do blame the director. In part, I blame him for the deaths of the people who have been killed in retaliation to the film that he created with intent to incite. He may not have killed them with his own hands, but he knew what he was doing when he made that movie, and he knew there would be uprisings. I wish that someone would hold him accountable for what he did under the protective guise of free speech.

But let me be clear again. NONE of the people who are currently being targeted in Indonesia and in other countries around the world had anything to do with the making of that film, nor do they have any control over its spread. In fact, I would bet that the vast majority of them feel much as I do - that the movie is garbage.

At this point, we even have Indonesians hurting other Indonesians. Over what? A 14 minute movie that they don't like, that's what.

I realize that I don't fully grasp the importance of the sacredness of the prophet. But I DO understand the anger. Even I was angry when I watched the film. I understand the protests. If that is what it takes to get your voice heard on a topic you feel passionate about, then by all means, I ENCOURAGE you to protest.

But there are two things my mom taught me as a child that I believe are truth.
1. It's OK to be angry - it's what you do in your anger that you have to be careful of.
2. Two wrongs never make a right.

Throwing rocks at the US Embassy, lighting the flag on fire, beating policemen with bamboo sticks, burning cars, egging Americans, storming KFC, wishing death to all Americans - none of these things can right the wrong that was done.

Well into my fifth year of living here, I sometimes feel like I have my foot in two worlds. I was possibly even more thrilled that Triyatno won a silver medal in weightlifting than I was when the US women's gymnastic team took gold.

Right now, I am saddened that this movie came from my home country. But I am equally as saddened by the response of THIS country.

Indonesia, bukalah matamu untuk melihat.