I have pinkeye.
I'm going to Hong Kong in less than 48 hours.
THIS IS FABULOUS.
20 November 2016
08 November 2016
Election Day
So it's election day in America, and it is the day after election day on this side of the world. I sent in my absentee ballot last week via e-mail (thank you, Indiana), so I anticipated a chill day.
Here's how it's been so far.
6:20 - Wake up extremely emotional due to dreaming that students were dying.
6:40 - Calm down enough to be able to get up and get moving.
7:00 - Leave for work.
7:10 - Find a box of chocolates from a student on my desk.
7:15 - Eat said box of chocolates for breakfast. With coffee.
7:20 - Pull up election results on my computer. Still pretty early. First states reporting.
7:45 - Begin teaching.
8:10 - Get called out of class by my principal for a "2 minute standing staff meeting" that turned into 20 minutes in which all teachers are instructed to stop assigning homework and tests.
8:30 - Return to class and continue teaching.
9:20 - Tell students they have no homework assignment today, then fumble when they DEMAND homework. Create an "optional" homework assignment on the spot.
9:30 - Ditch school to go watch election results at the home of a Brazilian friend with satellite TV while eating popcorn and brownies.
10:30 - Realize in the heat of the moment that I am actually more scared of Trump winning than Hillary.
11:15 - Return to school and teach.
12:00 - WHAT THE HECK, AMERICA????
12:15 - Discover I can't eat my lunch. But still scarf down an entire cream cheese Oreo cupcake. Of course.
13:10 - Write a blog post about what election day looks like for this expat.
WHAT A GREAT DAY, EVERYONE.
I should probably go eat something nutritious now.
Here's how it's been so far.
6:20 - Wake up extremely emotional due to dreaming that students were dying.
6:40 - Calm down enough to be able to get up and get moving.
7:00 - Leave for work.
7:10 - Find a box of chocolates from a student on my desk.
7:15 - Eat said box of chocolates for breakfast. With coffee.
7:20 - Pull up election results on my computer. Still pretty early. First states reporting.
7:45 - Begin teaching.
8:10 - Get called out of class by my principal for a "2 minute standing staff meeting" that turned into 20 minutes in which all teachers are instructed to stop assigning homework and tests.
8:30 - Return to class and continue teaching.
9:20 - Tell students they have no homework assignment today, then fumble when they DEMAND homework. Create an "optional" homework assignment on the spot.
9:30 - Ditch school to go watch election results at the home of a Brazilian friend with satellite TV while eating popcorn and brownies.
10:30 - Realize in the heat of the moment that I am actually more scared of Trump winning than Hillary.
11:15 - Return to school and teach.
12:00 - WHAT THE HECK, AMERICA????
12:15 - Discover I can't eat my lunch. But still scarf down an entire cream cheese Oreo cupcake. Of course.
13:10 - Write a blog post about what election day looks like for this expat.
WHAT A GREAT DAY, EVERYONE.
I should probably go eat something nutritious now.
01 November 2016
Two Weeks In
Some conversations from the past two weeks of being back in Indonesia.
Ibu Sri: Nona, you know how the fridge was broken and the men came and fixed it?
Me: Yes...
Ibu Sri: Well it works good now. REALLY good. Look! The water is frozen, and the eggs are frozen, and the rice is frozen, and the tea is frozen. They really fixed it!
Me: Um... Ibu... I think we need to call the repair men again.
Ibu Sri: Why?
Student: I think your teaching style is.... Aggressive.
Student: I have a present for you!
Me: What is it?
Student: Wedding tea!
Me: Wedding tea? Like, do you drink it at weddings or something?
Student: No. But it will help you get married fast. So drink it.
Me: Ibu Sri, I have to vote for president, and I don't know who to pick.
Ibu Sri: There's a man and a woman that you can vote for, right?
Me: Yes.
Ibu Sri: Vote for the man. He seems nice.
Me: He... seems.... nice?
Ibu Sri: Yes. He doesn't want ISIS in America. That's a nice thing.
Student: Miss, why are you so hashtag goals?
Me to my new iPhone: Siri, what is a good app for...
Siri: CALLING MARIE.
Me: NO! SIRI STOP! SIRI CLOSE! SIRI HANG UP! SIRI DIE!
Little girl I don't know who ran up to me: What's your name?
Me: Uh... Kak Abbie. What's your na-
Little girl: What religion are you?
Me: ...... Christian. What religion are yo-
Little girl: Don't know! *runs away*
Me to a guard: Is there a term for when it's really hot out and you can see lightning flashing in the sky, but there's no thunder?
Guard: What do you mean?
Me: I mean, like right now. See how the sky is flashing? But it's not raining, and there's no thunder. In English, we call that heat lightning. Do you call it anything in Indonesian?
Guard: Oh, yes.
Me: What is it?
Guard: We call that lightning.
Friend: I have to send a letter in English. Can you proofread it for me?
Me: Sure, just e-mail it to me, and I'll check it.
*Friend sends letter draft to me and I open it*
Me: So, this letter is in Indonesian.
Friend: Yes.
Me: But you asked me to proofread the English.
Friend: Well, you have to translate it first.
I took two new American friends out for a street food experience. When we arrived at the restaurant, I helped myself to food without waiting to be served, the proprietor greeted me by name, another customer came over, greeted me by name, gave me a hug, and chatted with me for a minute, and the server knew what I wanted to drink without me having to order.
Friend: So... Do you come here often?
Me: Why do you ask?
Basically, the last two weeks have been par for the course in Indonesia.
Ibu Sri: Nona, you know how the fridge was broken and the men came and fixed it?
Me: Yes...
Ibu Sri: Well it works good now. REALLY good. Look! The water is frozen, and the eggs are frozen, and the rice is frozen, and the tea is frozen. They really fixed it!
Me: Um... Ibu... I think we need to call the repair men again.
Ibu Sri: Why?
Student: I think your teaching style is.... Aggressive.
Student: I have a present for you!
Me: What is it?
Student: Wedding tea!
Me: Wedding tea? Like, do you drink it at weddings or something?
Student: No. But it will help you get married fast. So drink it.
Me: Ibu Sri, I have to vote for president, and I don't know who to pick.
Ibu Sri: There's a man and a woman that you can vote for, right?
Me: Yes.
Ibu Sri: Vote for the man. He seems nice.
Me: He... seems.... nice?
Ibu Sri: Yes. He doesn't want ISIS in America. That's a nice thing.
Student: Miss, why are you so hashtag goals?
Me to my new iPhone: Siri, what is a good app for...
Siri: CALLING MARIE.
Me: NO! SIRI STOP! SIRI CLOSE! SIRI HANG UP! SIRI DIE!
Little girl I don't know who ran up to me: What's your name?
Me: Uh... Kak Abbie. What's your na-
Little girl: What religion are you?
Me: ...... Christian. What religion are yo-
Little girl: Don't know! *runs away*
Me to a guard: Is there a term for when it's really hot out and you can see lightning flashing in the sky, but there's no thunder?
Guard: What do you mean?
Me: I mean, like right now. See how the sky is flashing? But it's not raining, and there's no thunder. In English, we call that heat lightning. Do you call it anything in Indonesian?
Guard: Oh, yes.
Me: What is it?
Guard: We call that lightning.
Friend: I have to send a letter in English. Can you proofread it for me?
Me: Sure, just e-mail it to me, and I'll check it.
*Friend sends letter draft to me and I open it*
Me: So, this letter is in Indonesian.
Friend: Yes.
Me: But you asked me to proofread the English.
Friend: Well, you have to translate it first.
I took two new American friends out for a street food experience. When we arrived at the restaurant, I helped myself to food without waiting to be served, the proprietor greeted me by name, another customer came over, greeted me by name, gave me a hug, and chatted with me for a minute, and the server knew what I wanted to drink without me having to order.
Friend: So... Do you come here often?
Me: Why do you ask?
Basically, the last two weeks have been par for the course in Indonesia.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)