Two Weeks In

Some conversations from the past two weeks of being back in Indonesia.

Ibu Sri: Nona, you know how the fridge was broken and the men came and fixed it?
Me: Yes...
Ibu Sri: Well it works good now. REALLY good. Look! The water is frozen, and the eggs are frozen, and the rice is frozen, and the tea is frozen. They really fixed it!
Me: Um... Ibu... I think we need to call the repair men again.
Ibu Sri: Why?


Student: I think your teaching style is.... Aggressive.


Student: I have a present for you!
Me: What is it?
Student: Wedding tea!
Me: Wedding tea? Like, do you drink it at weddings or something?
Student: No. But it will help you get married fast. So drink it.


Me: Ibu Sri, I have to vote for president, and I don't know who to pick.
Ibu Sri: There's a man and a woman that you can vote for, right?
Me: Yes.
Ibu Sri: Vote for the man. He seems nice.
Me: He... seems.... nice?
Ibu Sri: Yes. He doesn't want ISIS in America. That's a nice thing.


Student: Miss, why are you so hashtag goals?


Me to my new iPhone: Siri, what is a good app for...
Siri: CALLING MARIE.
Me: NO! SIRI STOP! SIRI CLOSE! SIRI HANG UP! SIRI DIE!


Little girl I don't know who ran up to me: What's your name?
Me: Uh... Kak Abbie. What's your na-
Little girl: What religion are you?
Me: ...... Christian. What religion are yo-
Little girl: Don't know! *runs away*


Me to a guard: Is there a term for when it's really hot out and you can see lightning flashing in the sky, but there's no thunder?
Guard: What do you mean?
Me: I mean, like right now. See how the sky is flashing? But it's not raining, and there's no thunder. In English, we call that heat lightning. Do you call it anything in Indonesian?
Guard: Oh, yes.
Me: What is it?
Guard: We call that lightning.


Friend: I have to send a letter in English. Can you proofread it for me?
Me: Sure, just e-mail it to me, and I'll check it.
*Friend sends letter draft to me and I open it*
Me: So, this letter is in Indonesian.
Friend: Yes.
Me: But you asked me to proofread the English.
Friend: Well, you have to translate it first.


I took two new American friends out for a street food experience. When we arrived at the restaurant, I helped myself to food without waiting to be served, the proprietor greeted me by name, another customer came over, greeted me by name, gave me a hug, and chatted with me for a minute, and the server knew what I wanted to drink without me having to order.
Friend: So... Do you come here often?
Me: Why do you ask?


Basically, the last two weeks have been par for the course in Indonesia.