One of the most annoying things to me is when students hound me after a test. "Did you grade it yet?" "Can I see my grade?" "When will you be finished grading?" "Will you post my grade today?" "Can you text me my grade as soon as you're finished?"
But really, it is my fault. When I was in college, I did a lot of procrastinating. I have a tendency to let things build up (for example, papers waiting to be written), and then when they reach mountainous proportions, I wallow in self pity and wonder why I ever became a student/student teacher/teacher/etc. This eventually turns into a resolute state in which I accept the task that is before me. That then turns into sheer stubbornness in which I neither eat nor drink nor have any fun at all until the entire job is finished.
When I became a teacher, I vowed not to live like that anymore.
And so I have developed what I consider to be a rather healthy habit of grading student assignments the day they are submitted. That's right. Homework gets graded the same day. Quizzes and tests get graded the same day. Students and parents get same-day feedback and I get to go to bed on time knowing that all of my work is already finished.
But students have come to expect this. And, as students have a tendency to do, they assume that my entire world revolves around them and I have no life outside of the four walls of my classroom. And so if I ever have pressing matters (like, oh, say... teaching all the other classes I teach) and don't get to a test IMMEDIATELY, the crowd becomes restless. And I become cranky.
Today was a perfect example of that.
BEFORE I EVEN WOKE UP, I had this message from a student:
"I was going to ask when your going to post the grade for geo."
Seriously?? (That is what I actually replied to him. I am not the best version of me first thing in the morning.)
I gave a geometry test last period yesterday. Some kids finished early and I tried to grade those tests surreptitiously while monitoring the rest who were still finishing. But most turned their tests in close to the 2:30 end-of-school bell. I was going to try to grade a few more after school, but the other math teacher came in and needed help with some lesson planning stuff. So I helped her with that until it was time for our weekly teacher meeting to start at 2:45. These meetings are usually over by 3:30, but yesterday's went all the way until 4:40. FUN. By the time I got back to my class, gathered my things, and got myself home, I had 40 minutes to make German chocolate walnut brownies from scratch for a 5:30 dinner event. I made it to dinner a tiny bit late and stayed there until after 8. After that, I had a SECOND dinner event (that I had already said I would come late to), so I headed straight over there and didn't get home until almost 10. I spent 30 glorious minutes enjoying my couch and putting my feet up before I headed to bed.
So now that you know how my day went, let me tell you the rest of this morning's conversation.
Student: I was going to ask when your going to post the grade for geo.
Me: Seriously?
Student: So can I go to your class in the morning and check the score maybe?
Me: No.
Student: What?? When you going to do it then?
Me: Hey.
Student: Yes?
Me: I have a life. And sometimes that life is busy.
Student: Fine. I will see it when I see it.
Me: I'll post it as soon as I have it. I'm not trying to hide it from you. It's just that I didn't get home until almost 10 pm yesterday.
Student: Oh wow. Your that busy?
Me: Not every day. But I was yesterday. So just try to have some mercy and patience, OK?
Student: Alright. Gotta go get ready for school.
^^A MONSTER! I've created a monster! They are so used to having instant gratification that they throw a fit when they don't get it! Also, they don't know the difference between your and you're! But that's not my problem...
Now, how do you destroy a monster of your own creation??
Step 1. Instead of grading Geometry tests before school, write a blog post about how bothersome students can be, knowing full well that you teach first and second periods and now won't have a chance to get to those darn tests until after lunch. MAKE THEM WAIT.
Step 2. Read Frankenstein and convince yourself that you and Victor would be good friends due to how much you have in common. "When he looks at the monstrosity that he has created, however, the sight horrifies him" (excerpt from the Frankenstein Sparknotes).
Step 3. Um. I haven't figured this one out yet. But it seems like step 2 will take me a couple of weeks to finish, so I've got time.
26 March 2014
24 March 2014
How to Impress an English Teacher
So the English teacher was randomly hanging out in my classroom during AP Calculus. He is a very smart guy, and he was looking at what was on the board (using definite integrals to find the volume of solids of revolution) and trying to recall how to do it.
One of my students decided to help him out and sauntered up to the front of the room and began his explanation.
"OK, so you need to start by finding the second integral of a matrix written using the Soviet form of the 1950s. You use this matrix to locate the coordinates of the vertices of the four dimensional geometric solid. Once you have that, then you need to evaluate the dimension of the matrix using the formula ab + cd = ef. Got that?"
The English teacher looked impressed so far, but commented, "I didn't realize there was such a thing as a four dimensional geometric solid."
Without missing a beat, the student replied, "That's because this is Orwellian math. There's probably a lot you don't know about it."
It was priceless.
One of my students decided to help him out and sauntered up to the front of the room and began his explanation.
"OK, so you need to start by finding the second integral of a matrix written using the Soviet form of the 1950s. You use this matrix to locate the coordinates of the vertices of the four dimensional geometric solid. Once you have that, then you need to evaluate the dimension of the matrix using the formula ab + cd = ef. Got that?"
The English teacher looked impressed so far, but commented, "I didn't realize there was such a thing as a four dimensional geometric solid."
Without missing a beat, the student replied, "That's because this is Orwellian math. There's probably a lot you don't know about it."
It was priceless.
21 March 2014
Amusing Conversations
A 7 year old Indonesian boy and I while playing with his Matchbox cars at his house. Conversation in Indonesian.
Him: *Out of the blue* I'm going to get my PhD in America.
Me: Oh, really?
Him: That's my plan.
Me: Where will you get your bachelors and masters?
Him: I'll get my bachelors at an Indonesian college. Then I'll get my masters in... um.... uh.... I forget the name.
Me: Australia?
Him: Yes! Australia!
Me: Hmm... I see. But you're going to have to learn English. Do you even speak English?
Him: Uh, YEAH, of COURSE! I've been studying English since I was a little kid!
Me: Oh, really? ME TOO!
Him: *falls over laughing*
In Pre-Calculus class with the juniors.
Me: OK, so just as an example, let's say that we want to do an experiment with houseflies. And we are going to use them to test the toxicity of some kind of poison. So we start with 50 houseflies in some kind of contained space, and we slowly begin to introduce the poison to them. And we check each hour to see how many are dead and how many remain.
Student: Wait, wait, wait... WHY would you want to kill them?? Isn't this kind of a mean example?
Me: Well, we need to decay SOMETHING.
Student: But aren't you going to be one someday??
Me: A housefly?
Student: Oh. Did you say housefly? I heard housewife.
(Now read the problem again, but say "housewives" instead of "houseflies". That sounds like the most horrifying math class ever...)
In Bali with Yohanes and Melanie, discussing plans to all be in America at the same time someday.
Me: I think that in order for Yohanes to get a visa to go to America, he would have to be married to one of us. That seems like our best bet.
Yohanes: I don't think it is possible to marry just one of you. It would be like marrying half a soul. I would have to marry both of you.
Me: I don't think you can get a visa that way, and I hope no other man in the world feels that way.
At a parent-teacher conference earlier this week.
Parent: You are very famous in our house. She comes home from school every day and talks about you all the time. She tells us everything you said to her that day. She tells us what you wore that day. She tells us what you ate for lunch that day.
Me: Really? She never talks to me at school.
Parent: Yes, she is a very shy girl.
While trying to teach 9th graders the importance of making sure they do something the RIGHT way rather than just doing it as quickly as possible.
Me: Have you ever spent time with a carpenter? Do you know what they say?
Student: Let's make a chair?
Me: MEASURE TWICE, CUT ONCE. Make sure that you're doing it RIGHT before you just dive in.
Student: No, that doesn't make sense. I'm pretty sure they say let's make a chair.
With the two year old son of one of my Indonesian friends (in Indonesian).
Him: I have to pee.
Me: You're wearing a diaper. Just pee.
Him: You're not wearing a diaper.
Me: Yes, you are correct. I am a grown up. I pee in the toilet.
Him: You pee in a bottle.
Me: What? What bottle? Where is the bottle?
Him: Here. *pats my chest*
Me: So when I pee, it goes into there??
Him: Yes. It goes in your bottles.
(This from the same kid who just a few weeks ago asked to see the chickens I have inside my shirt. Where does he come up with this stuff???)
Him: *Out of the blue* I'm going to get my PhD in America.
Me: Oh, really?
Him: That's my plan.
Me: Where will you get your bachelors and masters?
Him: I'll get my bachelors at an Indonesian college. Then I'll get my masters in... um.... uh.... I forget the name.
Me: Australia?
Him: Yes! Australia!
Me: Hmm... I see. But you're going to have to learn English. Do you even speak English?
Him: Uh, YEAH, of COURSE! I've been studying English since I was a little kid!
Me: Oh, really? ME TOO!
Him: *falls over laughing*
In Pre-Calculus class with the juniors.
Me: OK, so just as an example, let's say that we want to do an experiment with houseflies. And we are going to use them to test the toxicity of some kind of poison. So we start with 50 houseflies in some kind of contained space, and we slowly begin to introduce the poison to them. And we check each hour to see how many are dead and how many remain.
Student: Wait, wait, wait... WHY would you want to kill them?? Isn't this kind of a mean example?
Me: Well, we need to decay SOMETHING.
Student: But aren't you going to be one someday??
Me: A housefly?
Student: Oh. Did you say housefly? I heard housewife.
(Now read the problem again, but say "housewives" instead of "houseflies". That sounds like the most horrifying math class ever...)
In Bali with Yohanes and Melanie, discussing plans to all be in America at the same time someday.
Me: I think that in order for Yohanes to get a visa to go to America, he would have to be married to one of us. That seems like our best bet.
Yohanes: I don't think it is possible to marry just one of you. It would be like marrying half a soul. I would have to marry both of you.
Me: I don't think you can get a visa that way, and I hope no other man in the world feels that way.
At a parent-teacher conference earlier this week.
Parent: You are very famous in our house. She comes home from school every day and talks about you all the time. She tells us everything you said to her that day. She tells us what you wore that day. She tells us what you ate for lunch that day.
Me: Really? She never talks to me at school.
Parent: Yes, she is a very shy girl.
While trying to teach 9th graders the importance of making sure they do something the RIGHT way rather than just doing it as quickly as possible.
Me: Have you ever spent time with a carpenter? Do you know what they say?
Student: Let's make a chair?
Me: MEASURE TWICE, CUT ONCE. Make sure that you're doing it RIGHT before you just dive in.
Student: No, that doesn't make sense. I'm pretty sure they say let's make a chair.
With the two year old son of one of my Indonesian friends (in Indonesian).
Him: I have to pee.
Me: You're wearing a diaper. Just pee.
Him: You're not wearing a diaper.
Me: Yes, you are correct. I am a grown up. I pee in the toilet.
Him: You pee in a bottle.
Me: What? What bottle? Where is the bottle?
Him: Here. *pats my chest*
Me: So when I pee, it goes into there??
Him: Yes. It goes in your bottles.
(This from the same kid who just a few weeks ago asked to see the chickens I have inside my shirt. Where does he come up with this stuff???)
16 March 2014
Bad News Good News
Remember how my goal for my 1000th post was to take AWESOME pictures in Bali and wow everyone with the amazing-ness of my vacation? Well… I packed my big DSLR camera all the way to Bali with me. And then didn’t use it a SINGLE TIME! WUT?
Mainly the problem is that we walk everywhere in Bali. And much like a child, a big camera is just heavy and awkward to carry with me. So (hopefully UN-like a child) it spent the entire vacation in the hotel room.
The good news is that I take my phone EVERYWHERE. And I did take pictures with it. A few pictures. Not-very-amazing pictures. But I’ll show them to you anyways. Because I have to come up with SOMETHING for my 1000th post, right?
So here are some street views…
Beach views…
A friends picture…
A food picture (just for dad – a pork gyro… with French fries??)…
A loot picture (everything I bought while in Bali – 2 dresses, lemon and tea tree body wash, mousse for curly hair, cut glass coasters, lavender essential oil, and a kilo of lentils!)…
And finally, to make my 1000th post just a little bit epic, a sunset at the beach picture…
05 March 2014
Dear Sister
Dear Kyley,
Based on your Google chat message earlier today that read, "UPDATE YOUR BLOG MAN!!!!", I assume that you would like me to write something. This post is dedicated to you.
I have started to write a few things lately, but I didn't post any of them for a few reasons. One was about how I am getting used to doing things on my own. Like going to restaurants to eat meals alone. And sometimes I am the only person in the whole restaurant. It's a new experience, but I am actually finding that I LIKE doing this. But no matter how I worded it, I just felt like I sounded depressing and lonely. So I got frustrated and quit trying.
I tried to write something deep once, but I wasn't in the mood and I quit trying after like 2 minutes.
I started to write an update last week, but then I realized that things lately have been pretty mundane. There wasn't a whole lot to write and I sounded boring. So I deleted that one too.
I mean, after the preceding 2 weeks, the past two weeks have seemed downright boring. No volcanic eruptions, no early morning earthquakes, no motorbike adventures, no weird animal sightings, no basketball tournaments.
Oh, speaking of basketball tournaments, something funny did happen there. Two weeks ago, we hosted a basketball tournament for all the international schools on Java and Bali. I worked score table and first aid. INTENSE. But that's beside the point. I needed to get something from one of the other school's coaches, but he didn't want to give it to me because he didn't believe that I was a teacher. He told me I look "like, fifteen". I replied, "Man, I am like twenty-seven." Then he got all awkward and told me I'm aging well.
Next week I'm going to Bali for spring break. I'm excited. The senior class is going for their class trip. Yohanes is going to chaperone them, so he'll be there, and Melanie is also going to fly in from Kalimantan to meet us there. You remember them, right? Looking forward to some quality BFF time. And maybe hanging out with my kids outside of school. They're pretty cool too.
That's another reason I haven't posted for a little while though. My goal is to take some awesome pictures in Bali (I didn't take hardly any at all when I went for Christmas), and then to make that my 1000th blog post. This is my 999th. So don't expect any more updates until the end of next week when I get home.
In the meantime, I hope this one, my 999th, will tide you over, dear sister.
Love,
A
Based on your Google chat message earlier today that read, "UPDATE YOUR BLOG MAN!!!!", I assume that you would like me to write something. This post is dedicated to you.
I have started to write a few things lately, but I didn't post any of them for a few reasons. One was about how I am getting used to doing things on my own. Like going to restaurants to eat meals alone. And sometimes I am the only person in the whole restaurant. It's a new experience, but I am actually finding that I LIKE doing this. But no matter how I worded it, I just felt like I sounded depressing and lonely. So I got frustrated and quit trying.
I tried to write something deep once, but I wasn't in the mood and I quit trying after like 2 minutes.
I started to write an update last week, but then I realized that things lately have been pretty mundane. There wasn't a whole lot to write and I sounded boring. So I deleted that one too.
I mean, after the preceding 2 weeks, the past two weeks have seemed downright boring. No volcanic eruptions, no early morning earthquakes, no motorbike adventures, no weird animal sightings, no basketball tournaments.
Oh, speaking of basketball tournaments, something funny did happen there. Two weeks ago, we hosted a basketball tournament for all the international schools on Java and Bali. I worked score table and first aid. INTENSE. But that's beside the point. I needed to get something from one of the other school's coaches, but he didn't want to give it to me because he didn't believe that I was a teacher. He told me I look "like, fifteen". I replied, "Man, I am like twenty-seven." Then he got all awkward and told me I'm aging well.
Next week I'm going to Bali for spring break. I'm excited. The senior class is going for their class trip. Yohanes is going to chaperone them, so he'll be there, and Melanie is also going to fly in from Kalimantan to meet us there. You remember them, right? Looking forward to some quality BFF time. And maybe hanging out with my kids outside of school. They're pretty cool too.
That's another reason I haven't posted for a little while though. My goal is to take some awesome pictures in Bali (I didn't take hardly any at all when I went for Christmas), and then to make that my 1000th blog post. This is my 999th. So don't expect any more updates until the end of next week when I get home.
In the meantime, I hope this one, my 999th, will tide you over, dear sister.
Love,
A
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