I've Created a Monster

One of the most annoying things to me is when students hound me after a test. "Did you grade it yet?" "Can I see my grade?" "When will you be finished grading?" "Will you post my grade today?" "Can you text me my grade as soon as you're finished?"

But really, it is my fault. When I was in college, I did a lot of procrastinating. I have a tendency to let things build up (for example, papers waiting to be written), and then when they reach mountainous proportions, I wallow in self pity and wonder why I ever became a student/student teacher/teacher/etc. This eventually turns into a resolute state in which I accept the task that is before me. That then turns into sheer stubbornness in which I neither eat nor drink nor have any fun at all until the entire job is finished.

When I became a teacher, I vowed not to live like that anymore.

And so I have developed what I consider to be a rather healthy habit of grading student assignments the day they are submitted. That's right. Homework gets graded the same day. Quizzes and tests get graded the same day. Students and parents get same-day feedback and I get to go to bed on time knowing that all of my work is already finished.

But students have come to expect this. And, as students have a tendency to do, they assume that my entire world revolves around them and I have no life outside of the four walls of my classroom. And so if I ever have pressing matters (like, oh, say... teaching all the other classes I teach) and don't get to a test IMMEDIATELY, the crowd becomes restless. And I become cranky.

Today was a perfect example of that.

BEFORE I EVEN WOKE UP, I had this message from a student:

"I was going to ask when your going to post the grade for geo."

Seriously?? (That is what I actually replied to him. I am not the best version of me first thing in the morning.)

I gave a geometry test last period yesterday. Some kids finished early and I tried to grade those tests surreptitiously while monitoring the rest who were still finishing. But most turned their tests in close to the 2:30 end-of-school bell. I was going to try to grade a few more after school, but the other math teacher came in and needed help with some lesson planning stuff. So I helped her with that until it was time for our weekly teacher meeting to start at 2:45. These meetings are usually over by 3:30, but yesterday's went all the way until 4:40. FUN. By the time I got back to my class, gathered my things, and got myself home, I had 40 minutes to make German chocolate walnut brownies from scratch for a 5:30 dinner event. I made it to dinner a tiny bit late and stayed there until after 8. After that, I had a SECOND dinner event (that I had already said I would come late to), so I headed straight over there and didn't get home until almost 10. I spent 30 glorious minutes enjoying my couch and putting my feet up before I headed to bed.

So now that you know how my day went, let me tell you the rest of this morning's conversation.

Student: I was going to ask when your going to post the grade for geo.
Me: Seriously?
Student: So can I go to your class in the morning and check the score maybe?
Me: No.
Student: What?? When you going to do it then?
Me: Hey.
Student: Yes?
Me: I have a life. And sometimes that life is busy.
Student: Fine. I will see it when I see it.
Me: I'll post it as soon as I have it. I'm not trying to hide it from you. It's just that I didn't get home until almost 10 pm yesterday.
Student: Oh wow. Your that busy?
Me: Not every day. But I was yesterday. So just try to have some mercy and patience, OK?
Student: Alright. Gotta go get ready for school.

^^A MONSTER! I've created a monster! They are so used to having instant gratification that they throw a fit when they don't get it! Also, they don't know the difference between your and you're! But that's not my problem...

Now, how do you destroy a monster of your own creation??

Step 1. Instead of grading Geometry tests before school, write a blog post about how bothersome students can be, knowing full well that you teach first and second periods and now won't have a chance to get to those darn tests until after lunch. MAKE THEM WAIT.

Step 2. Read Frankenstein and convince yourself that you and Victor would be good friends due to how much you have in common. "When he looks at the monstrosity that he has created, however, the sight horrifies him" (excerpt from the Frankenstein Sparknotes). 

Step 3. Um. I haven't figured this one out yet. But it seems like step 2 will take me a couple of weeks to finish, so I've got time.