Amusing Conversations

A 7 year old Indonesian boy and I while playing with his Matchbox cars at his house. Conversation in Indonesian.

Him: *Out of the blue* I'm going to get my PhD in America.
Me: Oh, really?
Him: That's my plan.
Me: Where will you get your bachelors and masters?
Him: I'll get my bachelors at an Indonesian college. Then I'll get my masters in... um.... uh.... I forget the name.
Me: Australia?
Him: Yes! Australia!
Me: Hmm... I see. But you're going to have to learn English. Do you even speak English?
Him: Uh, YEAH, of COURSE! I've been studying English since I was a little kid!
Me: Oh, really? ME TOO!
Him: *falls over laughing*


In Pre-Calculus class with the juniors.

Me: OK, so just as an example, let's say that we want to do an experiment with houseflies. And we are going to use them to test the toxicity of some kind of poison. So we start with 50 houseflies in some kind of contained space, and we slowly begin to introduce the poison to them. And we check each hour to see how many are dead and how many remain.
Student: Wait, wait, wait... WHY would you want to kill them?? Isn't this kind of a mean example?
Me: Well, we need to decay SOMETHING.
Student: But aren't you going to be one someday??
Me: A housefly?
Student: Oh. Did you say housefly? I heard housewife.

(Now read the problem again, but say "housewives" instead of "houseflies". That sounds like the most horrifying math class ever...)


In Bali with Yohanes and Melanie, discussing plans to all be in America at the same time someday.

Me: I think that in order for Yohanes to get a visa to go to America, he would have to be married to one of us. That seems like our best bet.
Yohanes: I don't think it is possible to marry just one of you. It would be like marrying half a soul. I would have to marry both of you.
Me: I don't think you can get a visa that way, and I hope no other man in the world feels that way.


At a parent-teacher conference earlier this week.

Parent: You are very famous in our house. She comes home from school every day and talks about you all the time. She tells us everything you said to her that day. She tells us what you wore that day. She tells us what you ate for lunch that day.
Me: Really? She never talks to me at school.
Parent: Yes, she is a very shy girl.


While trying to teach 9th graders the importance of making sure they do something the RIGHT way rather than just doing it as quickly as possible.

Me: Have you ever spent time with a carpenter? Do you know what they say?
Student: Let's make a chair?
Me: MEASURE TWICE, CUT ONCE. Make sure that you're doing it RIGHT before you just dive in.
Student: No, that doesn't make sense. I'm pretty sure they say let's make a chair.


With the two year old son of one of my Indonesian friends (in Indonesian).

Him: I have to pee.
Me: You're wearing a diaper. Just pee.
Him: You're not wearing a diaper.
Me: Yes, you are correct. I am a grown up. I pee in the toilet.
Him: You pee in a bottle.
Me: What? What bottle? Where is the bottle?
Him: Here. *pats my chest*
Me: So when I pee, it goes into there??
Him: Yes. It goes in your bottles.

(This from the same kid who just a few weeks ago asked to see the chickens I have inside my shirt. Where does he come up with this stuff???)