Lunchtime

So a junior boy who happens to be Indian pulled up a chair next to me at lunch. Some previous context that is relevant to this story is that he stayed this past summer in India with his grandfather who was also hosting a young man studying at the India Institute of Science.

Him: So if you're dating someone and you say, "We should do this again soon!" is that a bad thing?
Me: No.
Other student: Yes.
Me: (to other student) Why is that bad?
OS: Because it means you're going to stop dating and start over.
Me: (to first student) Wait. Are you dating this girl, or did you go on a date with this girl?
Him: Well, it's not about me.
Me: Mmhmm. So hypothetically.
Him: We went out for coffee. He went out for coffee. I mean, my friend went out for coffee.
Me: DID YOU GO ON A DATE?!?!?!
Him: No. *smiling*
Me: DID YOU?!
Him: I said no! *still smiling* WHY CAN'T I SAY IT WITHOUT SMILING?!?
Me: BECAUSE YOU ARE LYING.
Him: Alright, alright, OK, fine. I went out for coffee with someone.
Me: WHO?! TELL ME NOW!
Him: Uhm... It was over the summer in India. You wouldn't know her. Her name is Jasmine.
Me: It's GOOD if she says she wants to do it again! It means she wants to see you again!
Him: Well, uh... it was actually ME that said that. And my friend says that's really bad.
Me: Why is that bad?
Him: Well, when I said it, she had a really weird reaction and she hasn't talked to me since then. So I Googled it, and the internet says it's bad to say that.
Me: Wait. Google is your "friend" that you asked?
Him: Well, who else would I ask?!?
Me: Your room-mate!
Him: NERRRRRD.
Me: Your grandfather!!
Him: Are you CRAZY?! It's INDIA! If I did THAT, he would say, "Oh, just let me talk to her parents", and then I'd have an ARRANGED MARRIAGE!

I was actually laughing to myself as I wrote that.