Lunchtime

So a junior boy who happens to be Indian pulled up a chair next to me at lunch. Some previous context that is relevant to this story is that he stayed this past summer in India with his grandfather who was also hosting a young man studying at the India Institute of Science.

Him: So if you're dating someone and you say, "We should do this again soon!" is that a bad thing?
Me: No.
Other student: Yes.
Me: (to other student) Why is that bad?
OS: Because it means you're going to stop dating and start over.
Me: (to first student) Wait. Are you dating this girl, or did you go on a date with this girl?
Him: Well, it's not about me.
Me: Mmhmm. So hypothetically.
Him: We went out for coffee. He went out for coffee. I mean, my friend went out for coffee.
Me: DID YOU GO ON A DATE?!?!?!
Him: No. *smiling*
Me: DID YOU?!
Him: I said no! *still smiling* WHY CAN'T I SAY IT WITHOUT SMILING?!?
Me: BECAUSE YOU ARE LYING.
Him: Alright, alright, OK, fine. I went out for coffee with someone.
Me: WHO?! TELL ME NOW!
Him: Uhm... It was over the summer in India. You wouldn't know her. Her name is Jasmine.
Me: It's GOOD if she says she wants to do it again! It means she wants to see you again!
Him: Well, uh... it was actually ME that said that. And my friend says that's really bad.
Me: Why is that bad?
Him: Well, when I said it, she had a really weird reaction and she hasn't talked to me since then. So I Googled it, and the internet says it's bad to say that.
Me: Wait. Google is your "friend" that you asked?
Him: Well, who else would I ask?!?
Me: Your room-mate!
Him: NERRRRRD.
Me: Your grandfather!!
Him: Are you CRAZY?! It's INDIA! If I did THAT, he would say, "Oh, just let me talk to her parents", and then I'd have an ARRANGED MARRIAGE!

I was actually laughing to myself as I wrote that.

Teacher Life (The Opposite of Thug Life)

I brought so much work home with me today. And I am so tired due to going to bed at midnight last night due to the amount of work that I brought home with me yesterday. So that basically explains why I am sitting on my living room floor, wearing my nerd glasses, and trying to think of as many things as possible to blog about.

                       

Clearly I am winning.

Language in my Brain

It's funny how my brain processes language sometimes. And I've consciously noticed how that process has changed over the last 5 years. It never ceases to amaze me how the brain functions.

A few years ago, I was still at a point where I understood most of what was told to me as long as I had time to translate it into English in my head. So basically, if people used normal everyday words, didn't talk too fast, and paused between sentences, I was good. Otherwise, I would hear one sentence, then miss the next as I struggled to translate the first one into a familiar language, then be back in time to hear the third sentence, then miss the fourth, and so on.

Now I'm at a point in my language learning where I understand just about everything pretty seamlessly. And if I try to translate it into English, I end up missing half of it because I understand it so well in Indonesian that it actually slows me down to try to come up with an English translation when I don't need to. It's easier to understand if I just receive and process in Indonesian. Basically, I would be a terrible translator. But still, four years ago, I couldn't even understand Indonesian WITHOUT translating it back to English.

Along those lines, a weird thing happened tonight. We sang a song in church last Sunday called "Kau Yang Layak". The chorus is pretty simple. It goes:

Kau yang layak,
Kau yang layak,
Kau yang layak,
Disembah

Really simple lyrics, but one of those songs that sticks in your head. I've caught myself humming it a lot the past two days. Then tonight, I was working on some Calculus, and I was singing it under my breath. But the really weird thing is that I was singing it in ENGLISH.

You are worthy
You are worthy
You are worthy
To be praised

I caught myself and wondered if maybe there actually is an English version of this song that I've heard before and was singing without thinking about it. So I thought of the verses in Indonesian and tried to think of what they would be in English, thinking that it would be something recognizable. Like maybe something that my church in America sings.

Semua mahkota dunia kan kuletakkan
Semua pujian manusia tak kuhiraukan
Karna tak ada satupun yang dapat gantikan
Hanya Kau yang kudus dan hanya Kau terbesar

Um... soo....

All the crowns of this world I set aside
All the praise of man I won't pay attention to
Because there is not even one that can replace You
Only You are holy and only You are the greatest

Ya, I definitely didn't catch myself singing THAT. I mean, it doesn't really roll off the tongue. So I'm pretty sure there is no English version. Then why did I subconsciously start singing the chorus in English?!

STRANGE, right?

Oh, PS - If you're interested in hearing the song, check it out on Youtube here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajoH4DchRyE And you should, because it's one of my favorites! And now that you know the lyrics in English (^^), you can sing along!

Pardon My French (Or: The Day I Discovered I am Black)

Student: What makes a cuss word a cuss word?

Me: I think it depends a lot on the culture. Because pretty much every bad word has an actual definition when used in its proper context. And what is a bad word in one culture might not be in another culture. It’s about our perception of the word. And probably also how we use the word.

Student: That makes sense. But what about words that mean the same thing? Why are some curse words and others aren’t? Like how crap and s--- both mean poop, but crap isn’t a bad word, only s--- is.

Me: Not in Holland.

Student: The only words I think are really cuss words are the F word and the N word.

Me: Why those two over any of the others?

Student: Well, the F word is actually talking about sex, and you don’t want to be talking about sex in front of other people because that’s awkward. And the N word is a mean word for black people that only black people can use, which is why I can’t say it but you can.

Not Quite Famous

So remember how I was a model for wedding dresses? And remember how my picture got put in the paper without me knowing about it? Apparently that wasn't the only picture! Several friends have now told me that my picture is also on display in front of the hotel in which the pictures were shot at. They are being used to advertise wedding packages at that hotel.

Yesterday, I was out for a walk with my new neighbor. It is VERY hard to find your way around all the crazy winding streets and alleys of Southeast Asia, and after 2 months of living here, she still can't find her way to or from town. To be fair, it took me about 3 months to be able to confidently do so. So I invited her to walk with me to town. When you walk, you tend to see more landmarks that stick in your memory as opposed to driving, when you kind of fly by everything without actually SEEING it. So we walked. And walked. And walked. I pointed out lots of landmarks. "If you want to get to Pancasila, look for the giant elephant in the road." Things like that. We stopped for some refreshing fruit soup (a bowl of fresh fruit served up with ice and sweetened condensed milk. It's good, I promise). And we poked through lots of little odds and ends shops and even picked up a few things. And we stopped and had conversations with lots of people who just wanted to chat with some whiteys. Walking is fun!

At any rate, we ended up walking right past the hotel where my picture was supposedly on display. I was naturally curious to see what it looked like, but I didn't see it anywhere. I figured they'd taken it down already. We got just past the hotel - right where a bunch of taxis were lined up and drivers were all sitting on the sidewalk, waiting for customers - and I noticed a GIANT billboard overhead. I looked up, and sure enough, there I was, towering over all of downtown. One taxi driver saw me looking and asked, "You want married?" I replied in Indonesian that I wasn't interested in getting married, I just wanted to see my picture.

He stepped out into the street to look up at the picture better. Then he looked at me. Back up at the picture. Back at me. And finally he declared, "You're lying". I insisted. THAT IS ME! He looked back and forth a few more times. Then he said, "You're prettier than the white girl in this picture. This cannot be you." I laughed and said thank you, and went on my way. Because really, what can you say to that?

I was going to take a picture of the sign to show you all. But from where I was standing - immediately BELOW the billboard - I don't think I could have fit the whole thing in one shot. And it seemed a little vain to cross four lanes of traffic to get across the street in order to take a picture of myself... And it was getting dark and we needed to be heading home.

Next time I go to town, I'll try to get a shot. For posterity's sake. And also because the first thing I noticed about myself in the picture is this: I look really muscular.

Promises

In my last post, I promised to try to post some pictures soon. And since today is a B day and my only class is AP Calculus and they will be taking a test which I already wrote, photocopied, and made an answer key for, I find myself with some rare extra time on my hands! But I realized that now that I have a tablet AND a smartphone (my Blackberry was breaking down rapidly, so I bought a cheap-ish Samsung phone) with decent cameras, I hardly ever use my actual camera! So I transferred all the pictures from my tablet and phone to my laptop, and narrowed down the 400 or so pictures from the past few months to my top few. And by few, I mean like 50. Because sometimes it’s just so hard to choose. So here are some less-than-real-camera-quality pictures, many of which are courtesy of my Instagram account.

1. My morning commute is at least 10 times better than yours.

2. Random things I find in my wallet…

3. I actually made and put up some decorations in my stupid apartment! It only took me 5 years. Now I should paint the walls some color other than white…

4. I found a new favorite food. And then I learned how to cook it. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you mpek-mpek. Say that five times fast!

5. I went to to south coast beach one day. And it rained and drizzled the whole time. But I took some cool pictures of the waves!

6. Pak Kur retired and Liz graduated. Two very important events for two very important people in my life! I’m thankful I got to be there for both of them!

7. And speaking of Pak Kur, here are some recent happenings around his place.

a. The day we won a chicken at church. We already ate it by now. Pak Kur made me hold it until church was over. I made it fall asleep. And it didn’t poop a single time! I’ve still got the magic.

b. Pak Kur’s mom was very sick for about three weeks, and I went to visit her several times. The family kept saying we were “waiting” for her. Around her, we said we were waiting for her to get better, but we all knew there would be no getting better. The sweet lady - who always shuffled around the house in a bra and sarong, who never stopped smiling, who always wanted to chatter away with me in Javanese (even though I never understood her toothless jabber), who always got up to greet me when I came - was so overcome by pain that even though she was conscious, she could no longer even recognize that I was there.

By the time she took her last breath, she was no longer conscious and was being fed through a tube by the family. I mentioned before that this was one of the easiest funerals I have ever been to. And this is why.

She died on a beautiful day. I drove through the forest to the village, and I stopped to take this picture, because the moon was rising over the trees and it looked so much like fall, which I have decided is the season I miss the most.

The funeral and wake lasted three days. Each night, they would pass around trays of plates full of snacks like peanuts and cassava chips and little cakes made from coconut and palm sugar. And um… tobacco?

Each night there was a short sermon, and each night, all the old people fell asleep. Does anyone else see the irony in sleeping at a wake?

But as soon as the sermon was over, they would wake right back up and open up their bag of leaves and narcotic nuts which they would excitedly share with each other. Someone told me it helps keep their teeth strong. I was thinking it seems a little late for that…

c. Pak Kur knows that I have a new neighbor, and each night of the funeral/wake, he asked me why I didn’t invite her to come with me. He really just didn’t seem to understand that a funeral is not really an ideal situation in which to get to know someone new. So about a week after the funeral, I invited Kim, my neighbor, to go visit the village. It was so fun to see her excitedly exploring the rice fields, and she kept exclaiming what a cute little village it was! It made my heart happy to know that she too shares my love for village life. I took these pictures while we explored.

That last picture is of the spring fed village bath, built in 1953. To this day, it is still used as a public bath. I myself have bathed there more than once after a long day of working in the rice fields! (I’m hoping that last comment will make me sound super Indonesian.)

d. One last picture on the topic of Pak Kur. They really wanted a family picture, but they couldn’t find a time to get the entire family together to take one. It’s quite a big extended family as Pak Kur is the youngest of 8 kids. So instead of taking one large family portrait, they asked each family group to send a picture of their immediate family and they photoshopped them all together. When Pak Kur showed me the picture, I was surprised to find myself in it! You can hardly tell it’s been edited…

8. I modeled again for my photographer friend. This time it was wedding dresses. A girl named Erika modeled traditional Indonesian wedding wear, while I got the Western dresses. The lady in the middle designed and made all the dresses we wore, AND she did all our makeup and hair. I had a lot of fun with those ladies! I have a new appreciation for models now - 7 hours in a corset and heels is NOT easy. It was a fun experience – I met new people and I learned a lot. But I think it safe to say that I have now retired from modeling.

Oh, but my picture made its way into the local newspaper! I wasn’t expecting that… Half page, baby!

9. Our school retreat this year was at a place up the mountain. I took no pictures of actual students, just of the scenery. Typical…

10. First day of school photo collage.

And first day of school picture of all the seniors with all of the kindergartners.

11. Speaking of seniors, here is a previously unreleased behind-the-scenes photo of the Harlem Shake dance video I made with last year’s seniors that they “accidentally” played in the middle of their graduation ceremony! Gosh, I miss these guys…

12. Melanie came to visit me and brought me loot.

And because of the year’s supply of allergy medicine she brought me, I can now be friendly with cats!

13. Speaking of cats…

 

Nobody cut the grass all summer long. It got a little out of control. This cat is standing.

14. I still don’t understand why Google maps thinks that South Sumatra is on Kalimantan.

15. I also don’t understand why people give this man money. His scary devil monkey put on a hollowed out doll’s head and danced in the street. It was sick and I hate monkeys and I hid from him when he came to ask for my coins.

16. Found this guy at school. I named him Clark Gable.

17. Here are some other friends I’ve found at school recently.

That last one is one of my students earlier this week asking me NOT to take a picture of his noodle beard. Naturally, I took it anyways.

18. And here are some non-friends that I found at home. ANTS. IN MY DESK.

Basically, here is what happened. I was typing on my computer (actually, I was probably watching a movie) one night when I noticed a few ants walking along. I got distracted by the ants, as I often do, and I followed them, which I also often do. I followed them to my desk. Then they went IN my desk. So I opened the door that they went into. And I started pulling things out of that desk cupboard thingie. And I just kept finding more and more ants. And then eggs. And then more eggs. And then more ants. They basically had built an entire empire back among my empty, unused CD and DVD cases. So then I got grossed out and I made a grossed out face and took a picture of my grossed out face. Then I got a can of bug poison and I sprayed that cupboard full of it and slammed the door shut. Some ants crawled out under the door and writhed around on the floor and died. I sprayed them some more. Just to make sure. Then I went to bed. So I had a big mess to clean up the next morning. It looked like this:

SICK.

19. I found a Korean restaurant IN MY TOWN. Bibimbap. Yes, please.

20. Soccer season also gets a yes, please. I love sitting in the grass in the shade watching my kids play soccer in the afternoons.

21. A massive cockroach. In my bed. This one gets a big NOGETOUTOFMYHOUSENOW.

22. I’ve mostly been hanging out with my Indonesian friends lately. One group in particular calls themselves Tim AA (Team Apa Adanya – which basically means Team Whatever-Comes-Our-Way). They’re really into riddles and games and competitions lately. So they had me make a spelling bee for them. An English spelling bee. Losers got their noses taped to their foreheads. I’m so glad I was the judge.

Remember this kid? He’s getting so big! He totally stole my spelling bee hipster glasses… But it’s OK, they looked better on him anyways.

Tim AA has 2 child members. The one above, and the one below. I’ve been teaching guitar to the one below, and he is blowing my mind with his smartness. In one hour I taught him how to read chord charts, sheet music, and guitar tabs. And by the end of one hour, he could do all three with no problem. This is especially amazing because I handwrote all the music I taught him how to read, and so it was not exactly top quality stuff. This is also a picture of my new guitar!

23. I’m tired of making separate headings for everything, so here are the rest of the pictures I have to show you.

I’m super into granola lately. Like granola pieces or granola bars. And I can now successfully make both. It is SO easy! I even made my own recipe for it! I don’t want to brag or anything, but it is basically the best granola…

School bought me a new stove/oven! One that actually lights!!

A lovely student gifted me some books yesterday. I’m pretty excited about that too!

This illustrates the difference between the 5th and 6th years of teaching for me. I was recycling a Donald Miller quote that I used in Geometry last year, and I realized that it should look more exciting. So I used my magical editing skills (which is a lie. I used MS Word and a Google image search) to spice things up. Because I actually care about that this year. Not that I have time to. But I still do.

The river behind my house. This is the first time I’ve ever actually taken a picture of it. Up for a swim, anyone?

Gifts from friends who went to America. I made this my dinner one night – peppered beef jerky, Tillamook cheddar, and actual FRESH cherries! How did those even get through customs??

I’m glad to see everyone is having so much fun learning Geometry this year!!

I am mildly obsessed with Asian stationary. Letting me loose in an office supply store in America is a bad idea. Here, it is just plain dangerous. I spend so much money on stuff I don’t need. But I ALWAYS find a use for it! Because it is too cute to not use!

I came home from work on a day that I worked 14 hours and changed clothes. 45 minutes later I saw myself in the mirror. Oops.

And last but not least, one of the driving schools in town has now come out with a fleet of these. What a clever marketing strategy.

OK. The end of picture time this time around! Until next time…