step 1: get hungry before bed.
step 2: what to eat?
step 3: BROWN SUGAR CINNAMON POPTARTS THAT MOM SENT FOR CHRISTMAS!
step 4: sadly take the last pack out of the box in the cupboard.
step 5: open the package.
step 6: marvel at all the tiny ants that are swarming inside the package all over MY poptarts.
step 7: sigh dejectedly.
step 8: notice that large chunks of MY poptart are missing.
step 9: ask the ants, "how long have you been in there?!"
step 10: bite off a corner of the poptart to check for rottenness or extreme staleness.
step 11: decide it's not too bad.
step 12: pull the toaster out.
step 13: scare a gecko hiding behind the toaster.
step 14: ask the gecko, "where were you while all this was happening?! why are you not doing YOUR JOB, gecko?!?"
step 15: sigh again and shake the poptarts.
step 16: proceed as usual.
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