my favorite conversation with an indonesian. ever.

*note* this took place over a year ago, but it just came to mind now and i had to record it.

it happened one morning while i was walking to school. i passed one of the national workers who is also a friend of mine. btw, indonesians are blunt. especially ones who can speak english.

him: why is your face red like crap?
me: what? red?
him: have you been crying?
me: no. i just took a hot shower though, so that's probably why my face is red.
him: oh.
me: what do you mean red like crap??
him: your face. it's red. like crap.
me: what?! whose crap is red???
him: ummm.... everyone's..... duh.
me: wow. learning a lot about you today. like number one, you're a jerk.
him: why does that make me a jerk?
me: you seriously don't understand how telling me my face is red like crap first thing in the morning makes you a jerk?
him: uhmmmmm.... no?

i dropped the conversation at the time, but picked it up again later that night when both of us were over at the home of 2 single white girls.

me: do you know what he said to me earlier today? he said my face looked like crap!
girls: NOOOO!
him: NO! i said your face was red LIKE crap. different.
me: fine. but still...
girl 1: why would you even say that to a girl?
girl 2: yeah, and crap isn't normally red.
him: YES! crap is RED! ALL crap is red!
me: what do you even EAT?!
him: same things as you, but crap is still red!
us: HOW?!
him: AFTER YOU COOK IT!
*a moment of silence as we 3 girls just stare at each other and wonder how we ever could have not known this about indonesians*
girl 1: so.... you eat it?
him: sometimes. don't you?
us: NO! that is SICK!
him: what? no! crap tastes so good.
girl 2: waitwaitwait.... are you talking about CRAB??
him: YES! that's what i've been saying this whole time! CRAP!
us: CRAAAAAAB!
him: YES! CRAAAAAAP!