A Father

This is Pak Kur. He is a guard at the school where I live and work. A little more than a year ago, he invited me for the first time to come visit his village, meet his family, and see his rice fields.

The thought of just going to the house of someone I only marginally knew from work seemed a little strange. But as time passed, I talked more and more to Pak Kur at school, and I got to know him and to hear stories of his life, his village, and his family. In turn, he also listened to my stories of growing up in America and living as a foreigner in Indonesia. He didn't stop inviting me to his house, but I always managed to come up with a reason not to go. You eventually reach a point though when it just becomes rude to turn someone down so many times. Luckily for me, that time came right at rice harvesting time. Pak Kur spent awhile one day in the middle of last year telling me how much longer it would be before panin (harvest), and he once again invited me over. I grew up on a farm my whole life, and I was attracted to the idea of getting out of town, working with my hands, and learning how to farm a crop I knew nothing about. So I agreed, on two conditions. 1) He had to let me work in the rice fields, learning to harvest. And 2) I wanted to bring a friend. He quickly agreed to both, and thus began my adoption.

I loved working in the sawah (rice fields). After harvest came planting. I went back to help with that. After planting, naturally, came another harvest. I also helped with that one. I tried to be a quick learner and a good worker, because I wanted to be a blessing to their family. I taught some of my friends how to plant and harvest as well. In between planting and harvest (a span of about three months), I would still go visit from time to time, often taking friends with me who were curious to learn about rice farming or village life, sometimes just spending all day talking, eating, and walking around the village. 

I got to know his entire family - and I mean ENTIRE family. His wife and three children, his 80 year old mother, most of his six older siblings - even the one who lives on Sumatra, his nieces and nephews, his father-in-law, three of his wife's brothers, his daughter's boyfriend, and many other more distant relatives and family friends. 

Pak Kur long ago decided that I am a part of his family. He tells everyone that I am his daughter. Not even his adopted daughter. Just his daughter. I am invited to all family events - and expected to attend. When there is a family problem, I am either consulted or, at the very least, informed and asked to pray. When I travel, I need to tell Pak Kur first where I am going, and he will SMS me often while I am gone to make sure I am safe. If he notices my lights are on until late, he will SMS me and tell me to go to bed. If my lights are not on in the morning, he will SMS me and tell me to wake up. When I'm at his house, he tells me to "go help mom in the kitchen". And he takes great joy in teaching me Javanese so that I can communicate better with his family. 

So all that to say I've known for a long time that he considers me a part of his family. But last night was the first time I saw how really serious he is about this. Last night was the first time I got in trouble. 

I left to go to PA (Bible study) at 7 while Pak Daniel was still the guard at the gate. While I was at Bible study, two other friends both began to text me saying that this was the ONLY night this week that all three of us were free at the same time, so they wanted me to come over after Bible study and watch The Bachelor with them. So I went over there after PA, at about 9:30, planning to be there an hour and be home by 10:30. Well, the episode they'd downloaded ended up being an hour and a half episode, AND it stopped working in the middle. At about 10:30, when we were still trying to get the file to play, I was thinking about heading home, but they convinced me to stay. I mean, it didn't take THAT much convincing... Because, well, I'm a sucker for Bachelor night. Long story short, they finally got the file to work and we kept watching. I didn't keep a very close eye on the time, and at 11:30, I got an SMS from Pak Kur, asking where I was. He had come on shift at school at 11 and noticed that I wasn't home yet. I told him whose house I was at (since he knows all my friends by now) and that I would be home soon. The show ended and the three of us chatted a bit, and I ended up going home at midnight, which is super rare for me on a school night. Turns out, Pak Kur was on night shift at the back gate. As I pulled up to the gate, it swung open slowly, and Pak Kur was standing there ominously, arms crossed, blocking my entrance.

"Jangan. Pulang. Malam malam."

(Do NOT. Come home. So late.)

I apologized, and explained to him where I was (literally just down the street) and why I had stayed so long. He understood, but told me how worried he had been and how it's not safe to be out so late at night.

After lecturing me, he moved aside to let me in, but then he stopped me again. "After I got home from work this morning, I went straight to the sawah and harvested rice until mid-day. Then my niece's school called my brother and said that she has skipped school for the last 10 days. She's 17. We think she's been leaving with her boyfriend. I went into to town to her school and confirmed her attendance. Then I went to her boyfriend's school - because I know his family too - and checked his attendance record. He hasn't gone to school yet this semester. When my niece found out that her family knew, she said she wouldn't go back home to the village because she was afraid of being beaten. So I had to go find her, talk to her, promise to protect her from her father, and bring her home, then talk to her family too. Then I went and found the boy and had to tell him that if he EVER does this again, I will call the police. I spent all day doing this. I didn't rest or sleep. Then I came to work tonight and Daniel told me that YOU HADN'T COME HOME YET. I worried. Don't do this again."

Then he handed me a bag of rambutan (fruit) he'd picked and brought for me and told me to go to bed.

I felt REALLY bad for making him worry. I mean, I almost cried because I felt so bad. I don't deal well with people being upset with me. But I felt very loved. 

This morning, he SMSed me to make sure I didn't sleep through my alarm since I went to bed so much later than normal.

Nobody can ever be like my real parents. But it is nice to know that someone here cares so much.