Some Fruit

Sometimes the Bible overwhelms me. Most of the things that it says we are supposed to do or be like are things that take months - or even years - of practice and discipline to make part of our daily lives. Then there's the real kicker - be like Jesus. Who, by the way, is perfect. Yes, let me get right on that.

Yesterday, I was thinking of the Fruits of the Spirit specifically as I was walking home from school. I was kind of doing a mental checklist to see where I'm at. Here's what I've got.

Love - This is one that I've tried to make a priority this year. I want to learn to love people well. I was kind of hoping that once I had this down a little more, the others would kind of just follow. But no. That is not the case. And I don't really even think I'm doing so great at this one - and I've been working on it since January! That is depressing.

Joy - I realized recently how affected my attitude is by the situation around me. All it takes is a cloudy day to put me in a sleepy, cranky mood. But when the sun is shining, I feel happy and extroverted and I want to give everyone kisses and puppies. But that's different from joy. Joy isn't affected by external factors. It flows through you no matter what the circumstance. I don't think I have that. Not even close.

Peace - Most times I try to be peaceful. Unless someone says something straight up mean or ignorant. Then I'm not really all that peaceful...

Patience - YaaaaaaaNO. Never.

Kindness - Um. I think I am kind. Most of the time. My students might not agree with this.

Goodness - What does this even mean? How is it different from the others? Am I good? Uh... (See kindness).

Gentleness - I don't really have what you would call a gentle personality. I'm a lot sarcastic and a little too blunt. So that's probably a negative on the gentleness.

Faithfulness - Well, I've never worshipped idols, if that's what you mean. I do tend to get distracted a lot though, and I use my tiredness and the busy-ness of my day as an excuse sometimes... So I guess I would call that unfaithfulness.

Self-Control - This is probably the one I am best at. And mostly because I am super stubborn. So if I say I won't do something, I won't do it. I've got the control thing down. But there are probably situations I could use more self control in... Now if only stubbornness was on the list. Then I could check at least one off.

Clearly I have failed at every one of the Fruits. Does that make me a failure? Nope.

I will never be able to succeed at all of them. I mean, I can't consistently succeed at even one of them. Does that make me any less redeemed? Nope.

That is the beautiful thing about God. I get to this point, and I feel overwhelmed all over again. But for a different reason.

Aku dikasihi dan dipulihkan. Apa adanya.