Student: Can we take a break?
Me: No, not yet.
Student: Aaaaaah, you're just like Kim Jong-un!
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Student: Did you change the color of your eyes?
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Me: Why aren't you in dress code?
Student: Oh, I have a note. *hands me a note*
Note: Please excuse (student) for not wearing a dress code shirt. His shirt got soiled in Biology due to chicken dissection.
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A male student came into class wearing a hoodie zipped all the way up.
Me: Are you wearing a dress code shirt? (while reaching out my hand, pretending like I was going to unzip his hoodie)
Student: *screams* DON'T LOOK AT THAT! THAT'S MY PRIVATE PARTS!
The rest of the room: *absolute silence*
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Me: If you have finished your homework, you may turn it in now. If you still have some work to do on it, you can also turn it in next time we meet.
Student: But is it alright if I turn it in now?
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Student: Did you already finish your morning coffee?
Me: Yes.
Student: Uh-oh.
Me: What?
Student: That's bad news.
Me: Why?
Student: You're nicer when you're drinking coffee.
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