Abuse

It was recently brought to my attention that a little boy from a nearby neighborhood who also happens to go to my church is living in an abusive situation. According to neighbors, he is being used as a punching bag at home almost every single day. He just started second grade and can’t read yet, so his mom, thinking he must be retarded, enrolled him in SLB (Sekolah Luar Biasa – a school for handicapped children). He’s not handicapped. He is abused.

Someone only mentioned this to me in a passing conversation this past weekend. When I heard about it, my first thought was, “What can I do?” But I live in a country rife with injustice. And this kid lives in one of the poorest areas of town. The police don’t care if poor people are beating their kids. Let them do what they want. There is no child protective service here; no foster care system to speak of.

This makes me angry. And then it makes me cry.

I’ve sought out more information about the family situation over the past few days. Here is what I know: The mother is in her 20s and has had 5 children from 5 different men. There is currently no father figure in the picture. The first child got sick and died. The second child was sold for $100. The youngest three still live with mom and some extended family members. Mom is doing the beating, and one of the two younger siblings is also on the receiving end of it. The youngest is only a few months old. The neighbors all know it is happening, but there is nothing anybody can do to stop it.

I hesitated to write this post for a few reasons, one being that maybe it’s not my right to air their dirty laundry in public.

But I don’t want to be quiet. There’s too much of that in this country. Do you know that if an Indonesian girl is raped, she will more than likely never tell anyone, not even her own family? And do you know that if you rape a girl, but your father is in the military, you will never be prosecuted? And if your husband beats you every single day of your life and all the neighbors hear it happening, they will never once breathe a word of it. If you get pregnant out of wedlock, your family will hide you, then pretend the baby belongs to an already married family member. Or they might send the baby to live in an orphanage so nobody ever has to know. Most handicapped kids are sexually assaulted at some point in their life by a family member or teacher. And it’s normal to rape and beat prostitutes – you can even do it in the gas station parking lot, and nobody will stop you. Children are sold, never to be spoken of again, often to brothels where their virginity goes to the highest bidder. Illegal abortions are performed behind closed doors, and if you can’t pay for it, the doctor gets to rape you afterwards.

I’m not making any of this up. Everything I just wrote above comes from real stories of real people.

In my mind the past few days, I keep coming back to the question, “What can I do?” I can’t hear that a child I know is being abused and do nothing. I have to do something.

I talked this morning with a friend of mine who really has a heart to help women and children in troubled situations. Her recommendations to me were as follows:

1. Pray for the kids and for the family.
2. Try to build a relationship with the mother and to love on the kids as much as possible.
3. Get the kid out of the school he’s in now (because the school for handicapped kids is where many handicapped kids are abused or assaulted further).

So that’s where I start. The praying part is easy. I can do that anytime, anywhere. I’m hopefully going to meet the mother on Thursday (she doesn’t come to church with the kids, so I don’t know her). As for the school, I have some information about enrolling him in a better school that will accept kids with special needs in the regular classroom (not many Indonesian schools will), and I already know of 2 people willing to help with the cost for that.

If you’re reading this, please, please, please join me in prayer for this situation. I wish I could just offer the mother $50 and take the kids home with me, but it’s not that easy. Those of us who desire to help need a lot of wisdom, and God needs to soften the heart of the mother. We can’t change her or the way she treats her children. And even if we are somehow able to remove these kids from the situation, developmentally, they are so far behind that I don’t know how long term the affects of the abuse will be in their lives.

I’m going to go ahead and post pictures of the two children, Yoga (the boy – 7 yrs) and Gibta (the girl – 4 years). (These pictures were taken in 2010, so if you’re thinking they don’t look 7 and 4, you’re right!) Print them off if you want. Hang them on your fridge to remind yourself to pray for these precious children. Message me and ask how they are doing – keep me accountable. And don’t be afraid to pray for big things. We have a big God.