A Dream Come Half True

One time, a long time ago, someone told me that if you get malaria, your pee turns black. I don't even think this is true, but I like to imagine that it is. I have never wished to have malaria. But I have kind of wished to someday have black pee. Because wouldn't that be SO WEIRD?!

Yesterday, my wish came half true. MY PEE IS BROWN, people. Brown like iced tea. When I first noticed, my first thought was, "OHMYGOSH! I am dying of dehydration!" And I immediately drank two glasses of water. Then I thought some more, and my second thought was, "OHMYGOSH! I am dying of renal failure! That is why I have been sick for three weeks!" Then my third thought was, "GOOGLE THIS."

So I Googled "Why is my pee brown?" And I found a website that listed possible colors of pee ranging from pink to blue (?!) to black and gave reasons for why your pee could be each color. Malaria was not one of them. But it turns out, the anti-parasite medicine that I am now on day 3 of can cause your pee to turn brown.

My dream came half true. Or maybe more like three-fourths true.