These past two days have been.... Trying. There was an "incident" yesterday involving someone in our community. Yeah, incident is the actual word used in the statement released yesterday.
"This afternoon there was an incident involving a foreigner here in Salatiga. So we're suggesting that you exercise extra caution and not allow your children to go out alone for the present. I'm sorry, but we can't give any further details at this point, but I'm sure the people involved would appreciate your prayers."
So reading that is kind of scary. But it's about 100 times worse when you know who the person is, when you know their whole family, when you know exactly what happened yesterday (even when you're not supposed to know). Because I'm close to the Indonesian staff and because they're usually the first to know when anything is happening, white people have been coming to me to ask what's going on. But the official school stance is that we're not talking about it. And so out of respect for them, I CAN'T TALK ABOUT IT. People don't seem to understand this. I want to talk about it. With someone. With anyone. To process what happened. But I'm not supposed to know what happened, so who can I talk to about it?
Tonight was the senior/parent banquet. Graduation is tomorrow morning. I had to MC the event tonight AND provide special music. It was an emotional night. Old memories and photographs were dug up and revisited, teachers shared about their fondest times with the seniors, and students gave tearful speeches, thanking their families, friends and teachers. I developed a headache pounding hard enough to affect my vision halfway through the 4 hour event. My motto as I smiled and public spoke in front of dozens of strangers the whole night was "Keep it together".
And if there was ever any one thing that I am good at, it's keeping it together.
But I'm ready to come home. I never thought I'd say this, but I'm finally ready for a break from Indonesia. There is no rest here right now. Our whole community is in a state of emotional turbulence. I felt like everywhere I looked today, I saw someone crying or on the verge of it. There is no freedom. I cannot leave my house by myself. Neither can any of our students. There is no peace of mind. It has been taken away from us.
Please be in prayer for our community. What has happened this week will have a long lasting impact on the people involved and also on our community as a whole. In a way, we're ALL involved. Because we are a body.
1 comment:
abbie,I tried so hard not to be curious and everything. I don't want to jump into someone else's business. but the more I read it, the more I feel hurt by the worst possibility that could happen that I can't stop think of. Also, my heart is burdened since it's in your community? Salatiga?! =( I feel like also a part of it, and that's sad! ok for now, I'll do what I should do. instead of confronting, i'LL BE PRAYING
liz
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