I'm A Mean One

Sometimes I think that if I were an innocent bystander who just happened to be bystanding in my own classroom watching a non-bystanding version of me teach, I would probably think that I am a very mean teacher. Especially if I happened to be bystanding while I am teaching 9th grade.

Take today, for example. Algebra 2 had a test. I helped them review yesterday and told them all the material they needed to study for the test. They should in no way have been unprepared. Yet the first 10 minutes of class went like this:

Me: This is the non-calculator part of your test, get out everything you need, but put your calculators away. *I begin handing out test*.
Fred: Can I ask a question?
Me: Yes?
Fred: How do we simplify logarithms?
Me: Too late. Should have asked that one before the test started.
Fred: Oh, man!
Gerald: Is this test open book?
Me: Nice try.
Gerald: Open notes?
Me: Shush. Bill, why is your calculator out?
Bill: For the test.
Me: It's non-calculator.
Bill: Oh. *doesn't move*
Me: Is there a part of "non-calculator" that you don't understand??
Bill: No. *doesn't move*
Me: Put your calculator away!
Bill: Oh. Right. *puts it away*
Me: Al, why are you sitting next to Joe? You know better. Move to a different seat.
Al: I was here first. Make Joe move.
Me: AL. MOVE.
*I finish handing the test out*
Aditya: TEACHER, CAN I HAVE A RULER?!
Me: SSSSHHHH! Where is your ruler?
Aditya: WHAT?
Me: Where is your ruler?
Aditya: WHAT?
Me: Never mind... *take him a ruler* Next time you know there are graphs on a test, bring your own ruler please.
Aditya: Mine got lost.
Me: Then get a new one.
Aditya: BUT..
Me: ...NO! I don't want to hear it now. Work on your test.
Eli: For number 8 do we have to explain our answer?
Me: Does it say to explain?
Eli: No.
Me: There's your answer, then.
Stan: Can I borrow a calculator?
Me: It's non-calculator!
Stan: I know, I mean for later. For the calculator part, can I borrow a calculator?
Me: Yes. Be quiet please.
Al: Can I have scratch paper to use??
Me: Use the back of your test so all your work is there.
Al: I don't want to.
*another student hands him a piece of paper*
Me: Does ANYBODY else need ANYTHING? You guys know that you need to have everything you need ready BEFORE the test. We have gone over this EIGHT TIMES BY NOW.
Aditya: This is only our seventh test.
Me: *dirty glare*
Ryan: For number 8, do we have to graph it?
Me: Did you read the instructions?
Ryan: No.
Me: READ. THE. INSTRUCTIONS.
Ryan: Ok, I read them. Do we have to graph?
Me: Do the instructions SAY TO GRAPH?!?
Ryan: No.
Me: Fine.
JiHyeon: Can I have some extra paper?
Me: NO!


Of course, this is the class that I had to teach to raise their hands if they have questions, to pick up all their garbage before leaving the room, to not turn in homework crumpled up in a ball, to not put rulers, calculators, pencils, etc borrowed from me in their mouths, to not eat in class, to not talk during tests, that "working together" does not mean "copying", which side of the paper is the front, to write their name on their work, to write in and on the lines, to bring a pencil and paper to class, and the list goes on.

Basically, every day, it is all I can do to not talk through clenched teeth with crazy eyes in this class. And would you believe - there are only 10 of them!

I have to say though, they have come a long way from the beginning of the year. This really is a huge improvement... So maybe I should be less angry?