I've only been going to my current Indonesian church regularly for a little over a year now. I started when I felt my Indonesian was good enough to actually get something out of the sermons. Something I've been a little surprised about are the ways that Indonesian churches (mine and others) celebrate Christmas. For example, two years ago, before I even started attending an Indonesian church, an (Indonesian) acquaintance of mine (who happens to attend one of the top 3 biggest churches in town) came to me one day in early December and asked me, "Are you free on Christmas Sunday? My church needs five white people to dress up like Santa for our service". I flat out refused. So he asked, "Well, could you ask some of your white friends?" Again, I flat out refused. What CHURCH needs five SANTAS?!? And why do they need white people?! (Answer: It's a status thing)
Anyways, back to last year - I started going to Indonesian church. Indonesians really like themes and dress codes. My first Christmas with my church was themed, "Green Christmas: Heal the World". The congregation went around town planting something like five hundred trees. Everyone took 4 or 5 and planted them wherever they thought they'd look nice, then met back at the church for lunch. That happened a couple days before Christmas Sunday, and sadly, I had prior obligations and was unable to attend. The Christmas sermon was all about being good stewards of the earth. And at the end, instead of the traditional "Silent Night" while holding hands around the sanctuary that I'm used to, we all sang (did you guess it already?) "Heal the World". Yup, the old Michael Jackson classic, complete with heartfelt amens and hallelujahs. I thought it was a little ridiculous. Oh, and we were all supposed to wear green. Or red if you had no green.
So in all fairness, I should have been prepared for this year's theme, announced at the end of church today.
Some churches just have quiet Christmases, members of the congregation exchanging gifts and cards with each other. In some, little kids perform songs they've practiced for months. Some do skits or whole plays. Some go the whole candlelight service route. Others like to get more involved and do clothes drives or open soup kitchens.
But not my church. Oh, not my church. God forbid we do anything normal like hold candles or sing traditional songs*. Oh, heavens, no... My church? My church kicks it up a notch.
The theme for this year's Christmas is (did you guess it yet? If you actually did, I'd probably give you a million dollars. If I could. Because you'd deserve it)....
MASS CIRCUMCISIONS!
That's right. Mass circumcisions. And I don't even mean that figuratively, however that could be meant figuratively. We are really reaching out to the community with this one. Too poor to pay for your teenage** son to get circumcised? No problem! Father's House Community Church will do it for free! FOR CHRISTMAS! And by "FHCC", I actually mean "a doctor". But he's not doing it for free - we have to pay him. We'll just arrange for him to be ready at the church with his scissors sharpened, then we'll serve you some snacks when the doctor is finished with you! Because you know you're gonna wanna eat as soon as you get part of your body cut off. So come one, come all, young and old, and don't forget your bullet to bite down on! Free circumcisions to all, and to all a goodnight!
(At least there's no dress code. I hate to think what it would be. Can't wait to hear the Christmas Sunday sermon though...)
*These things, by the way, are also considered normal in Indonesia. I'm not being totally ethnocentric here.
**Most Indonesian boys are circumcised between the ages of 10 and 14. It's a big sacred ceremonial becoming-a-man thing. The whole family/village comes to watch, and the kid gets lots of money and a sarong to wear for the next week.
1 comment:
speechless.
Post a Comment