Get Your Foot Out of Your Mouth

Guard: You look tired. Like REALLY tired.
Me: Hey, thank you.
Guard: No, I mean... Um... You look.... Nice. But.... maybe you should rest more?
Me: Yeah, I feel like I've been a little sick the past few days. Maybe a really mild fever.
Guard: It's the weather. The wind makes everyone sick. You should straighten your hair.
Me: Straighten my hair?
Guard: To make you healthy.
Me: I'm sick because I have curly hair?!
Guard: Yes. I mean.... No. I mean.... My daughter has hair like yours. It's kind of straight on top but more curly on bottom. It looks funny.
Me: My hair looks funny?!
Guard: NO! I mean... You should straighten it.
Me: I should just shave it all off so it's not so hot.
Guard: No, don't do that. Just straighten it so that it's pretty.
Me: IT'S NOT PRETTY NOW?!
Guard: STOP IT!

Two E-Mails

In the past 24 hours, I have received two e-mails from our school superintendent. Neither one was bearing good news.

The first came last night and announced the resignation of our elementary principal who has only been here for 7 months. The tone of the e-mail made it sound as if he was asked to resign. The elementary staff probably has a better grasp on what is going on, but those of us in the secondary are feeling a bit shocked at what came to us as a sudden announcement. We knew that the elementary was struggling with typical change-of-leadership challenges - we went through the very same thing just a year ago - but I don't think many of us knew it was enough to warrant this severe of an action.

The second e-mail came today and explains that there are three different viruses making the rounds at school and reminding parents to please not send their child to school sick (many still will). The three viruses are (copied from the e-mail):
  

1.  Chikungunya:  fever and muscle or joint pain.  You can prevent this by wearing mosquito repellant (even in the house), especially if there is already a sick person in your household.  It is transferred by mosquitos.  You can read more at http://wwwnc.cdc.gov/travel/diseases/chikungunya

2.  Stomach Flu:  primarily a stomach bug that involves throwing up repeatedly for about 24-36 hours and then it is over.

3.  Influenza:  sore throat, sore joints, fever; then, a cough and upper respiratory symptoms on day 3 or so. For more information, you can read at http://wwwnc.cdc.gov/travel/diseases/influenza-seasonal-zoonotic-and-pandemic

Historically, I have been one of the first to get whatever is going around. My immune system must be toughening up though - I haven't had any of the three. And I even had a girl throw up in my class last week! Several students have been out sick lately. So there's still a chance I could get one (or, God forbid, ALL) of the three. But I'm proud of myself for making it this far!

We would appreciate prayers for health and healing! And also for transition as we say goodbye to our elementary principal and search for a new one.

Some Sayings

Student: If I die today, you have to carry on my legacy. Find that one Indian kid and tell him to be me.
Me: That one Indian kid? Which one Indian kid?
Student: You must find him...


Student 1: Geometry is the worst torture ever. If the Nazis had made the Jews do Geometry in the concentration camps then.... Um.... Never mind.
Student 2: Then the Jews would really have had to CONCENTRATE in the concentration camps!
Student 1: No. They would have all died of Geometry.


Student: Hey Miss, do you wanna come to my sleepover this weekend? We're gonna paint our nails crazy colors and listen to One Direction all night and talk about boys!


Korean Student: Hey. Do you like my outfit?
Me: Yes, you look nice.
Student: My mom says I look like the Yakuza today.
Me: Your mom thinks you look like the Japanese mafia?
Student: That's what she told me.


(PS - I was super proud of myself for even knowing what the Yakuza is...)

Elementary Children

When I am around large groups of elementary aged children, I get a bad taste in my mouth. One-on-one, they are OK. In large groups, they are mildly repulsive. I don't know why, but it is obvious to me that I can never be a an elementary teacher. And this makes me all the more thankful for those who can.

Currently, there is a group of four children in my front yard "stick hunting" as they keep repeatedly screaming. I woke up from a cozy Sunday afternoon nap on the couch to the sound of them violently killing a giant (harmless) golden garden spider just a few meters away.

In the meantime, I have spent the past few days trying to keep a gecko with an injured foot alive. I've gone so far as to sprinkle sugar around him (he's used to me by now and will even let me touch him) in order to bring the ants to him. IN MY HOUSE.

Last night, I let a slug sleep under my couch. Because it was cold outside.

And I have a very large toad that lives in front of my house that I greet on a near daily basis.

It is lucky for these kids that I understand that I live in a community space. If they came around my own home making such a ruckus, they would be in for a real treat.

Someday, I am going to be that cranky old lady that small children fear.

And I'm OK with that.

Neck Smells

I wear scarves to school a lot. Because it is rainy season. And it is chilly. And I am a wimp. Especially when it comes to being cold.

One day this week, a particular (male) student asked if he could borrow my scarf. It was afternoon and warm-ish and I wasn't actually wearing it at that point. Said student asked because he had a cold and was feeling, well... cold. So I said it was fine if he borrowed it.

It is really a lovely scarf. Someone gifted it to me, and at first I thought it was a throw blanket. Basically it is the softest thing ever and I often spread it over my pillow at night so that I can feel like I am sleeping on a luscious cloud. It is THAT good.

I didn't tell that to my student.

But naturally, once he put the scarf on, he declared how soft and comfy and nice it was. And of course, then every other student HAD to try it on. They all wanted a piece of that scarf. Understandable.

So my scarf was passed around the room as just about every student tried it on for a few minutes. It got to one particular (male) student who for some reason sniffed the scarf then loudly asked, "So THIS is what your neck smells like?"

Uhhhh.... talk about uncomfortable moments as a teacher.

I pretended like I didn't hear (though I know that the ENTIRE class DID hear), and the scarf eventually got passed back to the first boy who wore it nicely until the end of class when he graciously returned it to me.

I think that is enough scarf borrowing for.... um... ever.

Death At A Funeral

Today was an interesting chain of events. Yesterday while I was out celebrating the Lunar New Year with a bunch of Singaporeans (hooray for learning new traditions, BTW), Pak Kur's oldest brother died. So the family would call him pakde-ku (my uncle). He lives in the same village as Pak Kur, but I don't think I've even ever met him. I know his wife though. She is a very sweet, toothless lady who gives me snacks.

Anyways, I left my house a little before 11 this morning to head out to the village and found myself traveling behind two grown men on a motorbike - with their Golden Retriever sandwiched on the seat between them. Um... OK.

I made it to the very edge of Pak Kur's village, but there were two men standing there directing traffic, and they told me I had to stop and wait because someone had died. I told them, "I know, that's where I'm going." I don't know if they couldn't understand me or if they just didn't believe me, but they wouldn't let me through. I could literally SEE the funeral-goers. Finally someone at the funeral saw me sitting there and called my name, and the two men were like, "Oh, you're going to THAT funeral!" Um. Yes. I do not see any other funeral around here.

I made it just as they were carrying the casket to the graveyard, which is a little ways outside the village, kind of in the jungle by the edge of the rice fields. So I jumped off my bike and onto Pak Kur's bike (after parking carefully on someone's front porch. Naturally.) and headed to the kuburan (graveyard). Pakde's grave was the faaaarthest back, basically IN the jungle. And the whole time we were there, I just had this feeling that there were going to be snakes. That is a weird feeling for me, because I'm not particularly scared of snakes or paranoid about their possible presence. But today I was. So every time the pastor prayed, I didn't close my eyes. I just looked down. I think God is OK with that. I didn't even understand 90% of what was being said anyways - it was in high Javanese.

So anyways, my feeling was totally RIGHT. As we were praying - or in my case, looking at the ground with my eyes half closed - I saw a fat black snake slither out from behind a tree to my left and head towards a group of men all praying with their eyes closed - obviously they are much more holy than I am.

I started elbowing the poor guy next to me and whispering furiously, "Hey, hey, hey, snake, hey, snake, hey, hey, look, look." Right as he realized what I was saying, the snake slithered over the foot of one of the praying men. I watched in horror and said my own prayer that he wouldn't get bit as he twitched his foot to knock off whatever was on it. I breathed a sigh of relief as the man didn't even open his eyes. Did he think it was just a big ant or something?

My feeling of relief was a bit premature though... The instant I felt it, the man ended up opening his eyes and having what appeared to be some sort of seizure/rain dance as he attempted to kill the snake by stomping on its head. Unfortunately, it has rained a lot lately, and the ground is extremely soft. The snake freaked out and started slithering all around, over other people's feet, who in turn joined the stomp fest. No matter how hard they stomped though, the snake WOULD. NOT. DIE. The soft ground protected it from the blows! One of the grave diggers finally opened his eyes and ran over with a hoe and tried to chop the snake in half. Still no such luck.

Meanwhile, the pastor was still very solemnly praying.

Finally, the hero of the day was a very old man who had watched all this happen and eventually pulled a machete out of somewhere (his pants??) and in one fluid motion flipped the snake over the blade of the machete, onto another grave's headstone, and chopped the snake's head off.

I didn't know if I should be horrified or laugh or cry or feel relieved or what.

Finally the pastor said "Amen" (the only word of the entire prayer that I understood). The whole snake debacle had taken only about 30 seconds, and only about a dozen people had witnessed it. I don't think the pastor had even noticed. He seemed really into that prayer.

I'm thankful nobody died at the funeral. Though that would have been handy. Like getting sick in a hospital.

After the funeral, I went to visit some friends in another part of town. Instead of returning home first, I went straight there from Pak Kur's house and ended up on some cool back roads that I rarely ever travel on. I should more often though, because in a matter of 10 minutes, I had driven through a rubber tree forest, a bamboo forest, some jungle, two villages, near some mountains, past a giant magic rock and an old train station, and through several rice fields. I had to wait for some goats to cross the road at one point and I had to hold my breath several times as I drove past some durian vendors. I live in such a beautiful place... Well, minus the durian.

The rest of the day involved falling asleep on a friend's couch while watching World War Z with their son, helping people out by doing the math for a building project, getting SOAKING wet in a freak rainstorm while driving on my motorbike (my shoes turned into swimming pools for my feet), accidentally walking in on some people while they were doing their prayers (uh... don't mind me, the awkward white person smiling like a crazy person while backing slowly back OUT of the room), eating BEEF stew for dinner (a rare treat), making new friends and hanging out with old ones until late at night, and teaching quite a bit of English to a 2 year old.

This is my life. My everyday life. Sometimes I forget how crazy and fun and wonderful it is. It really is.

Pre-Calculus

We were learning how to plot points in polar coordinates in Pre-Calculus class today. I listed four points - A, B, C, and D - on the board along with their coordinates and had students try graphing them on their own.

After about 2 minutes, we got a little distracted...

Indian boy: ABCD is an Indian movie, you know. Any Body Can Dance.
Me: Anybody is one word.
Student: So? It doesn't matter. It's Bollywood. All that matters is that there's some dancing and 2 people hugging under a tree.

Hahaha...

They were really  not motivated today (not really new news). At one point, another one of the boys raised his hand. When I called on him, he said, "You know, Miss, if you want to get rich, you have to have a successful marriage. I learned that."

Later on, yet another one of the boys asked if he could borrow my shirt sometime. When I said no, he offered to buy it from me.

I'm wearing a hot pink tunic shirt.

Of course, none of this should surprise me. This is the class that insisted we should all Skype my mom on her birthday. Because, as they so adroitly put it, "It's probably about time we met your parents."

This class just last week also decided that I should move to Korea to be a K-Pop star. Because apparently I dress like one.

So if this teaching thing doesn't last, I guess I can always fall back on K-Pop.

So That Happened...

I am 99% sure I just watched my cat walk into a room, forget why he walked into that room, get confused, then turn around and walk back out.

In other news, I tried on the new clothes I was given today. And can I just say... jumbo tunic shirts and leggings for life.

I'm so glad I got my laptop back so that I could write about pointless things like this. Every paragraph in this post starts with the letter I.

New Things

1. The Old Made New

My laptop is baaaaack! Granted, this isn't new. But they had to re-install Windows, so it basically felt new. Thankfully, all of my files were backed up. But everything else was back to factory settings. So I had to re-remember how to get Windows to stop doing all of the annoying things it does. A small price to pay to have my laptop back to normal and working better than ever! Speaking of price - Mas Wahyu, the guy who fixed it for me, wouldn't accept any money for his labor. He worked on it for FIVE days! I finally stopped insisting and baked him a whole batch of pumpkin streusel muffins over the weekend instead.

2. New Things

I have this student who is Indonesian, but she and her family went to America for Christmas break. While the American stayed in Indonesia... funny, right? Well, anyways, her mom is super sweet and asked if she could bring me anything from America. I couldn't think of anything (because I knew I had Christmas packages coming that would be full of American good-ness). But they got back over the weekend, and today the mom came in my class and left a GAP bag on my desk. I thanked her and later looked in the bag. Holy cow. She went clothes shopping at the GAP for me!! I wasn't expecting the contents of the bag to ACTUALLY be from GAP... Such a nice gift and gesture. I'm thankful for generous people and sweet students and new clothes that smell like America!

3. New Events

Today I have something new to add to my calendar. I have an old friend who is part of a Muslim community here in town. He recently asked if I would teach English to some of his friends. At first, I wanted to say no. Because if I'm selfish about anything, it's my time. The ONLY day of the week that I don't have something extra-curricular scheduled is Tuesday. And that is my down time. I'm an introvert. I need that time. For myself. For my sanity. But then I realized that right in front of me is an open door. Like, it really couldn't be open any wider. This is a chance to make new friends and build new relationships and to teach and to be taught. And with people that I might not normally spend time with. And so I said yes. But I limited it to twice a month. Because like I said, I'm selfish. So tonight will be my first time teaching English to this crowd. I don't really know what to expect, but I think I'm almost actually looking forward to it!

4. New Experiences

Last night, I went out to dinner with some friends. I wore a hoodie that I haven't worn for several weeks. So as I always do, I shook it out really good to make sure no geckos or cockroaches were hiding in the sleeves. I put it on as I headed out the door. By the time I made it to my motorbike, my left arm was itching a little bit. I didn't think much of it. I just thought maybe an ant had been in my jacket or something. Ten minutes later, when I got to the restaurant, my left arm and my right shoulder were both itching like crazy. So I pulled up the sleeve of the jacket and inspected my arm. Uh.... basically, it looked like the time I found out I was allergic to penecillin. My entire left arm was swollen, covered in red bumps, and pretty itchy. Unfortunately, I had worn a tank top under the jacket, so there was no way I could take the jacket off in public. I left it on, and by the end of dinner, the itching had already gone down. Afterwards, I was going to a friend's house to practice conversational English. I headed straight there, but the wind on my bike made the itch flare up again. So when I got there, I made sure there were no men in the house (it was only my friend, her three year old daughter, and her mom), and I yanked my hoodie off. My friend gasped in horror, and I quickly realized why. My left arm up to my shoulder was swollen and covered in red welts, my right arm from the elbow up looked the same, as did the top half of my back. Upon closer inspection, I also found that part of my stomach and my left side from my hip to my armpit were covered with the same thing. They got me some salve and helped me put it on. And then they said to drink a glass of milk (??), so I did. The itching had gone down again, but I looked worthy of social ostracism. When I got home a few hours later, I rubbed coconut oil all over everything, and it cleared up pretty quickly after that. But the mystery still remains - what did I react to? Was it something in my jacket? Was it something I ate or drank? DID I FINALLY ACTUALLY BECOME ALLERGIC TO MIDDLE SCHOOL CHILDREN?? I may never know...

5. New Friends

There was a 4 day youth mission conference going on in my town over the past weekend. Speakers came from other countries to share about what God is doing in different parts of the world and to share from their own hearts as well. Most of them are staying much longer than the 4 day weekend and are speaking in many other venues as well. I got to help translate for one of the Indian men last week. And holy cow, I am terrible at understanding Indian accents. But it was the first time I've really officially translated for an event, and it was fun! I also spent quite a bit of time over the weekend talking to two of the other speakers - one from India and one from the Philippines. We all exchanged contact information, and I have invitations to visit both countries. I live in what a lot of Indonesians refer to as a village - comparatively speaking, it's a pretty small town. We don't even have a mall to boast of. But I love how international it is here - even outside of my immediate school community. Now, who wants to sponsor my grand world tour where I visit all the amazing people I've met in my time here? Donations are accepted. : )

Late Post 2: My Notebooks

I have always been a sucker for paper products. I go crazy in office supply stores. And I know I’m not alone. There are many like me.

Unfortunately (for my money situation), I happened to move to Asia – the part of the world with the most amazing stationary you will ever see. And I CANNOT STOP BUYING CUTE NOTEBOOKS.

Notebooks, notebooks, notebooks.

The weird thing is that I don’t ever do anything with them. I mostly just arrange them in different orders on my desk. I like looking at them. I like having them. I like smelling them. I just like them.

This is starting to sound like a creepy notebook fetish, so I’ll get to the point.

I finally decided that if I am going to buy notebooks, I HAVE TO USE THEM. So I did. Well, I started using the more practical ones. Some other ones have cute pictures or little Asian-y drawings all over the pages. They are fun to look at and they make me feel like a giggly little Asian girl inside. But they are not nice to write in.

So I took the blank notebooks, and I incorporated them into my New Year’s Resolutions. Now, for the first time in history, I present to you some of my favorite possessions – my notebooks.

Notebook 1. This sleek, stylish model is not any ordinary little black book.

For starters, it contains no phone numbers. No, this is the notebook I use when I do my daily Al-Kitab and Al-Quran reading. I use it to keep track of what I’ve read on what day, and I also use it to create lists of all the words I don’t know along with their translations. I use this little notebook every single day.

Clearly, some days are better than others…

I also usually have this little guy in my bag with me wherever I go. It’s a very small notebook (less than 4 slats tall, as you can see from the picture) and takes up hardly any room. If there is ever a lull in a conversation, I pull out my notebook and start asking my friends the differences between certain words. I mean, Genesis 1 in Indonesian uses THREE different words that all translate to creep/crawl! For all those creepy crawly animals God made.

Notebook 2 has my all time favorite color and design. This is the first one that I started using regularly – at the beginning of the school year.

I decided that I should be more financially responsible, and I’m using this notebook to track all of my expenses. I’m not an extravagant spender, but living in a third world country really makes you more self conscious about what you have in comparison to oh, say, your entire neighborhood. I recognize that I have a different standard of living than most of the rest of Indonesia, but while I know that I’m living within MY means, I also want to make sure that I’m not living wildly outside of theirs. So every single thing I purchase, I write down in here.

Basically, it’s my accountability buddy. Before I buy something, I remind myself that I will have to write it down in my notebook. And it will be part of the weekly total of what I spent. And will I be disappointed in myself when I see that total? It helps me make sure that what I’m buying is really what I need. And through this process, I’ve found that I can generally get by on $30-$40 a week. And that includes tithing and eating!

OK, enough about finances. On to notebook 3. This is the one that has been in commission second longest. I’ve been going to Indonesian church for a few years now, and awhile back I finally figured out that taking sermon notes actually helps me focus more, understand better and remember things long term! I know, I know, I was a little late to the game… But at least I arrived. Eventually. So yeah, I started taking notes on index cards, and after the sermon, I would just tuck them into my Bible. But sometime last year, I decided to start using an actual notebook. Mostly because I kept losing the index cards. So this is my sermon notebook.

This notebook is noteworthy because it is the only one that I bought with a pre-determined purpose. I had to have a notebook with blank pages because I wanted to be able to fit each sermon on one page. I knew I wouldn’t find a lined notebook that would allow me to do that.

Since I have tiny handwriting anyways, this notebook is the perfect size! The date and the name of the person preaching go in the top right corner. Then each sermon’s notes are on the right hand page. The left page I use for other things. Like if I learn any new words during the sermon, I write them down there. Or if we sing a song that I want to remember the lyrics to, I jot them down. All of my notes are in English. Hearing in Indonesian and noting (??) in English really helps me process what I’m hearing, and it keeps me on my toes throughout the entire sermon. No zoning out… Also, fun fact – I have stared at the cover for soooo long, and to this day, I cannot figure out what it says. It’s like a part of some poem or something written in really scripty writing. But I can only make out a few of the words.

Notebook 4. My mom actually mailed me my credit card hidden inside this notebook! That was a good idea, because nobody at customs found the credit card, and also, that was the package in which Lindt chocolate exploded and coated everything. I was able to wash off the notebook, and it was displayed prominently on my desk for quite awhile, but left unused.

Until at the end of last year when I was reading through my Bible and wished that I had a way to have all of my favorite verses in one place. And voila – the favorite verses notebook came to be.

Sometimes they are in Indonesian…

Sometimes in English…

And sometimes, I include entire paragraphs or even chapters!

This is definitely my favorite notebook to read through!

Notebook five is the last one for now. This was a Christmas gift from a friend, and I decided to use it to help me with my New Year’s resolution to pray for my leaders.

I’m also trying to be more focused in praying for other things as well. You know how when people say, “Hey, I could really use some prayer.” and you say, “Oh, I will totally be praying for you.” and then you completely forget? No? Is it just me? I hope not. Anyways, I don’t want to be that person anymore. So I’m using this to write prayer requests down in to help me remember. Every request gets its own page. And each day, I look through the notebook once. And I don’t necessarily pray for everything in it every day. But I have a written account of things I’ve said that I will pray for. Like my leaders. Here they are.

And if I’m being honest, I know that one of the reasons it is hard for me to be faithful in prayer is because I struggle to believe in the importance and effectiveness of prayer. God is God, and He knows what is best. So why should I pray for something that I want to happen when it might not be what is best? And so on the first page of the notebook, I wrote down some verses about prayer and what prayer should be and what prayer is for. Because no matter what my head thinks about prayer, I believe in my heart that the Bible is the inerrant Word of God. And He has some things to say about prayer. So on the days when I really don’t feel like praying, I have these verses to remind myself of what God thinks about it.

Late Blog 1: New Year's Resolutions

Well, we're on Day 4 of no laptop. It's in the shop, hopefully getting better. But I heard they are wiping everything and re-installing Windows. So that is great. Thankfully I had the foresight to expect this situation, and I backed EVERYTHING up before I took it to get fixed.

I've resorted to using the desktop computer in my classroom. It isn't terrible. I mostly just hate how clicky the keyboard is. First world problems. But anyways, since I have a new blog idea pop up in my mind just about every day, I decided I should start getting some of these out there!

So here is the first installment of Late Blogs.

New Year's Resolutions. I rarely make them. Really, almost never. But this year I decided to. And if I post them publicly, then I will feel more motivated to stick with them, right? In theory...

1. Last year I wanted to read the Bible more than I had the year before. And I was successful in that. I read the Bible all the way through in 2013. And I didn't want to do it AGAIN this year. But I do want to continue to be in the Word every day. So I decided to start reading the Bible in Indonesian this year. I'm not going to finish it in a year - the 4 or 5 chapters a day I would have to read to make that goal would be overwhelming. So I'm taking it slowly. Just a chapter or two a day. But as I read, I have a special notebook (I'm already planning a "Notebooks" blog post because I love my notebooks that much) in which I write down every single word that I don't know. And I find the translations for those words. And I learn those words. So I'm not only reading my Bible every day - I'm also rounding out my Indonesian vocabulary as I go along. Some days are stressful, and I feel like I don't know every fifth word. Some days are great, and I know every word in the chapter! I love reading, I love reading in Indonesian, and I am super motivated to learn language, so I think this will be an easy resolution for me to stick with. Eventually, I would like to read the entire Bible in Indonesian, but at this rate, it will take me almost 3 years!

2. Besides not wanting to feel totally overwhelmed, I also had another reason to not push myself to read the Bible in Indonesian in a year. I wanted to leave myself some time to do some other reading as well. Specifically, Al-Quran. It is a much shorter read than Al-Kitab (the Bible) - I only have to read 20 verses a day to finish it in a year. So my second New Year's Resolution is to read the Quran in a year. I wish I could sit down and study this book with an imam or an ustad or another religious leader because I have SO MANY QUESTIONS, and I really want to understand this religion that 90% of this country follows. But it's probably good that I don't have that opportunity, because it means that I talk to my friends about what I'm reading. And I have had SO MANY good conversations. Already. Conversations about what we believe and why we believe it and how what we believe is different. I love those conversations, and I love learning about religion and culture and where it comes from. I often find myself reading more than 20 verses in a day. I might finish this resolution ahead of schedule! So again, I think this will be an easy resolution to keep. And thanks to my tablet, I can easily take both Al-Kitab and Al-Quran with me wherever I go.

3. I felt really convicted at the end of last year about how much I complain about leadership... I have butted heads a lot with my new boss here. I don't agree with a lot of things my pastor does. The mayor of our town is pretty sleazy and corrupt. And naturally, presidents can never do anything right. But I never ever pray for them. So that is my third and final New Year's Resolution - pray more for those in authority over me. And honestly, I think this will be the hardest one for me to keep. It's difficult for me to pray consistently and long term for something. Eventually, I forget about it. Or I get bored of praying for the same thing over and over and over. Or I feel like what's the point because I see no change. I am the opposite of a prayer warrior. I am a prayer weakling. But if I can be faithful in praying for one thing, I want it to be for my leaders. Lord knows they need it...

Ninth Grade Jokes

The only native English speaker in the class: Where does a snowman put his money??
ESL student: Where?
Native speaker: In a snowbank!!!
*Silence. Maybe a few cricket noises.*
Me: That's a very English language joke.
Korean student: What do you mean?
Me: Do you know what a snowbank is?
Several students: No...
Me: Do you know what a snow drift is?
Several students: Yes...
Me: They're the same thing. Snowbank is another word for snow drift.
Korean student: Oh. So what was the joke?
Native speaker: Where does a snowman put his money? IN A SNOWBANK!
*Lots of loud, exaggerated, sarcastic laughter as all the ESL students now get the joke*
Korean girl: No, wait. I still don't get it. Where did he get money? He's a snowman.....

Man, talk about a tough crowd...

Pop In

Hey. Just want to pop in and let everyone know I'm alive! We made it back from Bali, we're in the thick of rainy season (I don't think I've seen the sun for 8 days now), and school started back up last week.

I have about five great blog ideas coming up, but I think my computer is crashing. Or something is terribly wrong. And I can't do much with it. I'm working on getting it fixed and fingers crossed for the best.

In the meantime, I hope this short post works as a sign of life for any of you who might have been wondering why I've been silent for so long! Sorry!

Grinch

So I'm not much of a holidays person. They are nice. But sometimes I'd rather just relax. Instead of cooking food for 50 million people, finding perfect gifts for everyone, cleaning the house obsessively because you never know when someone might drop by, and etc and etc. Because I'm lazy like that.

Therefore, I am happy to declare this Christmas officially OVER. Well... it will be over once I finish cleaning up after the impromptu Christmas dinner my friends decided to throw AT MY HOUSE last night.

I am also happy to announce that in approximately 5 hours, I will be boarding a bus to BALI! So I should arrive in that touristy tropical paradise anywhere between 23 and 32 hours from now.

Here's to hoping for 23.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, everyone!

THE END

I feel like I've spent the last week living out of a bag. I pack a bag, leave the house, come home for 5 minutes, quickly unpack the bag, re-pack it for the next event, and I'm off again. I've mostly just been using my house to sleep in this week - and even that way less than normal.

At this point, basically every flat surface in my home - including the floor - is covered with stuff that got dumped out of various bags and hasn't gotten put away yet. My goal is to ignore it until tomorrow.

Because Christmas break officially starts TOMORROW. I have two and a half weeks off! So I can clean my house to my heart's content. And it is coming just in time. I think I finally reached my tired limit today - at about the 9th hour of wedding photographing.

But all the craziness and tiredness and soreness and disarray are worth it to see these smiles.

Case in Point

Before you read this, you should read my last blog post, which I wrote approximately 8 minutes ago. Right after posting that, a junior came into my classroom to have the following conversation.

Student: Have you graded our exams?
Me: Yup!
Student: Can I see mine?
Me: Nope, sorry. I don't hand exams back.
Student: Oh. Well, can I know what I got?
Me: I don't remember off the top of my head, but I'll post it on Engrade (our online gradebook) before I go home today, so you can check later.
Student: OK, but what was my grade?
Me: I don't remember.
Student: Was it the worst grade in the class?
Me: Um... I don't remember.
Student: What range was it in?
Me: I don't remember.
Student: 60?
Me: Don't remember...
Student: 40?
Me: I STILL DON'T REMEMBER.
Student: *frustrated with me* Okaaaaaay. Bye.

It is a wonder I have never physically assaulted a student...

My, How They've Grown

If you have been reading my blog for the past few years, you might remember that 9th grade class from hell that I taught 2 years back. I wrote a lot of "woe is me" blogs regarding my experience with that class. Well, I had them again in 10th grade last year. And now I have them AGAIN in 11th grade. These things happen in small schools...

Over time, I've gotten to know the students in this class. I now know their families. I know their stories. I know their quirks. I could pick each of their handwriting out of a lineup of 100 - which is good, since they usually forget to put their name on their homework. I have come to value and appreciate and even generally LIKE them as human beings.

But lock me in a classroom with ALL of them for 90 minutes a day, and it feels like a 90 minute train wreck.

While I can see some growth and change in them over the past few years, I still often feel like I'd rather be beating my head against the wall than attempting to teach them math. Or herding cats. That sounds easier.

They took their semester final this morning. As I was monitoring them, I was thinking of the past few years. And it was with no small amount of regret that I wished I could have a better relationship with these kids. I feel like I've spent SO much time over the past few years trying to get them to do those basic fundamental things that come so easily to other classes that I haven't had time to really build a relationship with them. Things like thinking for yourself, bringing paper and a pencil to class, not throwing garbage on the floor, remembering to put your name on assignments, not speaking rudely to others, not copying homework, listening when the teacher is teaching, and not getting angry when you ask her to repeat something for the SIXTH time and she refuses to do so - these are things these high school juniors just CAN'T seem to be able to do. STILL. And I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle sometimes.

So I am more strict with this class than I am with my other classes. This class has more rules than any other class I teach. I end up being the bad guy a lot. I get more frustrated with this class than I ever have with any other class. I have almost cried in this class more than any other class. And I feel like that has hurt my chances of having as good of a relationship with them as I might have had.

But I don't know what to do about it.

I contemplated this for quite awhile as they took their final this morning.

When the final ended, all the students rushed off to their next exam. One came back though, and he handed me a candy bar and an envelope and told me to have a merry Christmas.

After he left, I opened the envelope. Inside was a letter.

"Dear Miss. I can't believe that I survived the first semester of pre-cal. Now I look forward to the remaining second semester. I just want to tell you that you are one of the greatest and most influential teachers in our school. Yes, I don't really like math and do bad in it, but it's not your fault at all. It's just that I'm better in other stuff than math. And one of the biggest reasons I was able to survive my high school math was cause of your effective teaching. You always explain everything very specifically, always teach us whether you are sick or healthy, and most of the time answer my never-ending questions. There are numerous times in class when I think to myself, 'When I become a teacher, I wanna be like Ms. P'. I'm sorry for asking you so many questions. I will try to listen more attentively in class and diligently take notes. Seriously, if someone else was my math teacher, I would have almost failed it, but I'm glad that I have such an awesome teacher like you. Have a nice Christmas break!"

Speaking of almost crying in class...

He has no idea how perfectly timed that letter was, and he'll never know what it means to me.

It means there is hope. Hope that even though I'm the bad guy, they know how much I care about them. Hope that they see that I'm trying. Hope that they know change needs to happen. Hope that I'm doing something right.

There it is...

I always feel like the last month or so of every semester is a huge whirlwind of activity and vacation is a nice long time to catch my breath after that mess. But this end-of-semester has been fairly easy. In fact, I was thinking that just last week. Naturally, I jinxed myself. I think all of the craziness that should have occurred over the past month got crammed into this coming WEEK.

This week I have three days of teaching and two days of finals. So that means end of the year grading, finals prep for students, writing finals, grading finals, turning in quarter grades and final exam grades. I have three Christmas parties. I have to tutor English. I have three days to prepare and throw a bachelorette party. I have a wedding to go to on Friday. Then I have a traditional two day wedding (different from the Friday one) that I'm photographing on Saturday and Sunday. I'm also doing the flowers for that wedding. I'm hosting my church's college group on Thursday to make Christmas cookies. I need to do a test run on the Christmas cookies before then though, because I'm trying to find a recipe that doesn't have to chill for hours. I need to buy Christmas presents for people from school because after Friday, I won't see most of them again until the end of break. I need to get two packages ready for people in America that I'm going to send with my neighbor (who is going home for Christmas this Saturday). I need to get everything ready for the beginning of second semester because once break starts, I AM NOT SETTING FOOT IN THIS CLASSROOM. I need to go to the ATM so that I can give my helper her Christmas bonus this week. I also need to get two wedding gifts. Just remembered that one. Writing this all down is helpful.

Am I stressed? Not yet.
Will I be ready for break by the end of this week? GOSH, YES.

Hemingway

I was out for coffee tonight with a student and a friend who also works at the school. My friend is not American, but he has VERY good English and is probably more well read than I am. The same goes for the student - not a native English speaker, but he is CONSTANTLY reading, and in January he'll be taking the Literature SAT 2.

Anyways, our conversation somehow suddenly turned to Hemingway earlier. I don't really remember what led up to it, but it probably doesn't matter. What is important is that I learned that while my friend is very well read, he is not very good at remembering book titles, as you shall soon see...

Student: HEMINGWAY!
Friend: Yeah, I like Hemingway. I've read some of his stuff.
Student: Like what?
Friend: I liked An Old Man in The Sea.
Me: Do you mean The Old Man and The Sea?
Friend: Yeah, that one.
Student: I didn't read that one yet.
Friend: The only other one I've read by him is Goodbye My Left Arm.
Me: Goodbye My Left Arm?
Student: Um... I don't think I know that one...?
Friend: Oh, it's something about goodbyes and arms and um.... I think there was a war and his arm got cut off or something...
Student: A Farewell to Arms?
Friend: Yes, THAT'S the one!
Me: GOODBYE MY LEFT ARM!!!!!!!

The Greatest

So I have 10th grade homeroom, which means that I have to make sure they're in dress code every morning. Dress code is pretty easy. Their options are black or khaki pants/knee length shorts and a solid colored collared shirt. I'm known as a pretty strict dress code checker... I go around the room and check every student every day. Because of that, my 10th graders show up every day perfectly in dress code. They know they'll get sent home if they don't.

School just ended for the day, and a 10th grade boy just came into my classroom to tell me, "Miss, the principal just saw me and he said my shorts are not dress code."

He was wearing white-ish khaki cargo shorts. I asked him what was wrong with them. And he kindly said, "They're too white. They're not khaki. So I can't wear them to school. The principal said. And I just wanted to let you know because I'm afraid that one day I might forget they're not allowed and I might wear them to school. And then you need to send me home if I do that because I don't want you to get in trouble for not doing your job if the principal catches me wearing these shorts again."

I have the greatest students. I didn't realize that shorts could be too white for dress code, and he totally could have gotten away with it. But he wanted to make sure I was protected and able to do my job well.

Now, I just need to remember this story the next time this student asks me something I have already explained 5 times. Or the next time I ask him to explain how to solve a math problem and he replies, "POWER AND SKILL, BABY!" Or the next time he pinches my elbow skin while I'm checking his outfit in homeroom.

"IT FEELS FUN!" Every day...

Mondays.

Sometimes I leave the house and something just doesn't feel right. I usually ask myself, "Am I wearing underwear?" Sometimes the answer is no and I have to go back home.

This morning, something felt weird. I did the mental underwear check. Everything seemed to be in place. So I came to school. It wasn't until I got here that I figured it out.

I never took my pajamas off this morning. I put my clothes on OVER my pajamas. I am wearing my pajamas UNDER my school clothes. And today is an A day - so back to back to back to back classes with no break.

It's gonna be a lumpy Monday.

Pet Peeves

I am learning that living in another country comes with two sets of pet peeves.

Obviously, you have your pet peeves about the culture you are living in. Like how people drive at night with no headlights on because they think it conserves battery. Or how time is rubber and nobody ever shows up when they say they will and you end up waiting alone for 30 minutes while everybody stares at you and wonders why a white person is sitting there alone. Or how people slurp and suck on their food - namely chicken heads - and it makes you totally lose your appetite.

The not so obvious set of pet peeves that I only just recently learned about myself involves the way people from your home country treat you. These people generally fall into a few categories.

1. People who don't realize that you can live in a real house in a real city in a third world country and not everybody lives in a tree house in the jungle and eats grubs three meals a day.

2. People who write/talk to you and ask, "So how's Indonesia?" like an entire five year experience can be summed up in one quick reply.

3. People who don't realize that Indonesia is NOT the same as America and don't understand why.

4. People who believe that I have NO CLUE what is happening in the rest of the world and speak to me condescendingly because of it.

That last one is the one that is getting me lately. I recently read the status of a young man from my hometown who complained what a terrible place America is because the human rights and civil rights of white people are being lost. At first, I was genuinely concerned that something very negative had happened to him. So I commented to ask him how exactly his rights were violated. He wrote back to say that it was nothing personal but how sad it is that American's original settlers are being treated unfairly. Feeling less sympathetic, I responded how it surely is a tragedy the way those Native Americans were/are treated. This turned into a long dialogue that mostly entailed him impatiently "explaining" to me that white people are the original Americans but now we've let so many immigrants in and treated them too kindly and white people are being overrun and this is very terrible for white people because white people are the ones who MADE the rights and Obama is the worst and what would our founding fathers think. Basically, it sounded like he believed that since white people created the rights, they should not apply to other people like immigrants and minorities and homosexuals. I challenged him on a couple points. Instead of answering, he informed me that I just don't understand because I haven't been to America for so long and if I could see firsthand, then I would obviously be on his side. The conversation ended shortly after that (and after I reminded him that if it weren't for immigrants rights, he and I wouldn't be where we are today) because I didn't have anything nice to say, so I chose not to say anything at all.

That's not the only time it has happened in recent months. A few times now, I've gotten the, "You don't understand because you're not here" speech. I don't need to be IN America to know what is happening there. I will be the first to admit that I am not always great on keeping up with world news, but it doesn't mean I am clueless as to what is happening in the rest of the world. And I'm a little bit offended when people assume that I am.

I know that the people in all 4 categories above mean well. They really do. And I get that. And all of those offences are really nothing more than pet peeves. Easy to forgive. But when they happen, it is REALLY hard not to roll my eyes.

So I'm sorry if I ever involuntarily roll my eyes at you. It probably means you are pet peeving me.

What a weird word.

Textbook question: In an experiment, students netted butterflies, recorded the number with tags on their wings, and then released them. The students netted 48 butterflies and 3 of those had tagged wings. Predict the number of butterflies that would have tagged wings out of 100 netted.

Student: What does netting mean??
Me: Catching with nets.
Student: Who even uses that word?! This is ridiculous. Why can't they just say catched?

Giving Thanks

"Living in America must be so wonderful".

It's a simple sentence, but it always rubs me the wrong way. I don't like it when people assume that life in America is like living in some fantasy land. Life in America is not all sunshine and princesses and mansions and dreams come true.

Being a foreigner who desperately just wants to fit in, I usually try to find the similarities, not point out the differences. And so when people here make comments like that to me, I usually respond with something like, "Well, every country has its goods and its bads, just like Indonesia". Polite, but reminding them that America probably isn't the paradise that they think it is.

I was getting ready to deliver my response, but I paused. I looked at the 7th grade girl across the table from me and I could tell she was already 15,000 miles away, trying to imagine America, that magical place she only knows from the movies.

And instead, I bit my tongue.

I was supposed to be helping her with her English homework. This girl. This 13 year old girl. Whose face was smudged with dirt. Who lives in a house with dirt floors. Who goes to one of the worst middle schools in town. Who doesn't know her own father. Whose mother is a prostitute.

I decided to do Thanksgiving a little bit differently this year. I didn't have a turkey dinner. I didn't spend time with other Americans. There was no stuffing or green bean casserole or pumpkin anything. Nobody asked me what I'm thankful for.

Instead, I went to the red light district of town and taught English.

And in a ramshackle little building with holes in the roof, surrounded by 15 rambunctious, runny nosed children, I was reminded of exactly how much I have to be thankful for.

I am thankful that in every situation, I have Hope to hold onto.

I am thankful for two loving parents in my life who I know would sacrifice anything for me.

I am thankful for the friends I have in my life from all over the world who love me and pray for me and encourage me and support me.

I am thankful for the education I received that led to me being a teacher in Indonesia.

I am thankful that I have enough.

And I am thankful that I am American. Even though it might not be a Disney princess paradise world.

I watched her for a minute from across the table. She eventually looked back at me with a shy smile. I didn't know what to say to her, so I smiled back and we continued working on her homework.

Devi. Her name is Devi.

Happy Teachers Day

In honor of teachers day two days ago (it's OK if you forgot to mail me a present - I forgot it was teachers day too), a dear friend of mine sent me the following SMS:

"Oh, it's teacher's day!!! Keep being awesome.. or not. They'll love you anyway!"

It made me laugh.
Good advice for teachers EVERYWHERE.

The Stinky American

We had a double service at church this past Sunday because we had a guest speaker from America! So in between the two services, we had snacks and fellowship time and they also gave away a dozen books. At first, you had to answer questions correctly to win a book. Some were about the topic of the first sermon. Some were trivia about our pastor or about the guest pastor. But then they ran out of questions, so they started doing things like, "Who is wearing blue socks?" or "Who has no phone minutes on their phone?" (because all phones in Indonesia are pay-as-you-go). Each time, the person who met the requirement and ran to the front the fastest won a book. 

I knew the answers to several of the questions, but I'm not much of a run-to-the-front-and-shove-other-people-out-of-the-way kind of person. I'd rather sit back and enjoy watching other people duke it out. 

But then something happened. They asked, "Who came to church today without showering?" And I thought, "THIS IS IT. THIS IS MY MOMENT. MY TIME TO SHINE." And this force just came over my body. Without even realizing it, I was raising my hand and slowly standing up. And then I was running. It's like I wasn't even in command of my own body. I just sprinted. In slow motion, I think. Or at least that's how I remember it happening. I had been sitting in the front row and couldn't see behind me, but I got a minor rush of adrenaline when I grabbed my book and realized I'd gotten to the front first. I WON! I WON! 

And then I turned around to show off my prize to my adoring fans. Because I'd been sitting in the front, I didn't realize until that moment - on stage in front of the whole room - that I was the only person who even got up!!! The rest of the congregation was just sitting there, looking at me in silence, heads cocked to one side as if to question why I would even admit to not showering that morning...

Indonesia may be a third world country, and Westerners may associate "third world" with "lack of cleanliness and hygiene", but I tell you what - Indonesians bathe 2-4 times a day EVERY DAY (as opposed to my 2-3 times a week). And even if they didn't, they would NEVER ADMIT IT. This is the cleanest culture I have ever lived in.

Once everyone saw me realize that I was all alone in front, the room ERUPTED in laughter. They laughed and cheered SO HARD. It was practically riotous.

Because I am the ONLY white person who attends my church... And I was the only person out of 150 that didn't shower that morning...

That's gonna be a great memory. And the book wasn't bad either!

A Joke

I heard a joke recently about the recognized religions of Indonesia. For those of you who don't know, every Indonesian has what's called a KTP, which is their national ID card - like a social security card. On it you have to list your religion, and you have 6 to choose from:

1. Islam
2. Kristen
3. Katolik
4. Buddha
5. Hindu
6. Khonghucu (which I think is like Confucianism, though I'm not sure if it's the same in English)

I heard this joke in Indonesian, and I don't know how to translate all the religious terms exactly into English, but I'll do my best so that everyone can understand!

One day, a guy bought a new vehicle. He really wanted to have it blessed before he drove it (for safety, of course), but since he wasn't strictly adherent to any religion, he wasn't sure who should bless it. To be safe, he called six of his friends - one from each religion - and asked them to bless his car. His Khonghucu friend showed up first, lit some incense on the dashboard, said a prayer, and told the man his car was blessed. Then his Buddhist friend came, mounted a statue of Buddha on the dashboard, asked Buddha to protect the car and its occupants, then reassured his friend that his car was blessed. The Hindu friend came next and set a canang sari (a woven grass box full of offerings to the gods) on the hood of the car, said a prayer to Vishnu, and declared the car blessed. Next the Catholic friend came. He brought a little bottle of holy water, sprinkled it water on the roof, said 3 Hail Marys, and declared the car to be blessed. The Christian friend saw the Catholic bless the car, but he said a sprinkling wasn't enough, so he drove the car INTO a nearby river. He then declared that the car was blessed. Once the car was dried off, the Muslim friend came. By now, the other 6 friends were busy chatting and didn't see what the Muslim friend did. He came over and told them the car was now blessed. The 6 men were confused because they couldn't see that anything had been added or changed. They looked around the car, in the car, under the car, and still they couldn't see what the Muslim friend had done to bless the car. Finally they asked him, and the friend replied, "Simple. I just cut 3 inches off the exhaust pipe."

A Dream Come Half True

One time, a long time ago, someone told me that if you get malaria, your pee turns black. I don't even think this is true, but I like to imagine that it is. I have never wished to have malaria. But I have kind of wished to someday have black pee. Because wouldn't that be SO WEIRD?!

Yesterday, my wish came half true. MY PEE IS BROWN, people. Brown like iced tea. When I first noticed, my first thought was, "OHMYGOSH! I am dying of dehydration!" And I immediately drank two glasses of water. Then I thought some more, and my second thought was, "OHMYGOSH! I am dying of renal failure! That is why I have been sick for three weeks!" Then my third thought was, "GOOGLE THIS."

So I Googled "Why is my pee brown?" And I found a website that listed possible colors of pee ranging from pink to blue (?!) to black and gave reasons for why your pee could be each color. Malaria was not one of them. But it turns out, the anti-parasite medicine that I am now on day 3 of can cause your pee to turn brown.

My dream came half true. Or maybe more like three-fourths true.

Um...?

One (male) student was absent from homeroom today. Another (male) student commented, "I miss Joe today. He's my buddy, physically."

I decided not to ask...

Some Fruit

Sometimes the Bible overwhelms me. Most of the things that it says we are supposed to do or be like are things that take months - or even years - of practice and discipline to make part of our daily lives. Then there's the real kicker - be like Jesus. Who, by the way, is perfect. Yes, let me get right on that.

Yesterday, I was thinking of the Fruits of the Spirit specifically as I was walking home from school. I was kind of doing a mental checklist to see where I'm at. Here's what I've got.

Love - This is one that I've tried to make a priority this year. I want to learn to love people well. I was kind of hoping that once I had this down a little more, the others would kind of just follow. But no. That is not the case. And I don't really even think I'm doing so great at this one - and I've been working on it since January! That is depressing.

Joy - I realized recently how affected my attitude is by the situation around me. All it takes is a cloudy day to put me in a sleepy, cranky mood. But when the sun is shining, I feel happy and extroverted and I want to give everyone kisses and puppies. But that's different from joy. Joy isn't affected by external factors. It flows through you no matter what the circumstance. I don't think I have that. Not even close.

Peace - Most times I try to be peaceful. Unless someone says something straight up mean or ignorant. Then I'm not really all that peaceful...

Patience - YaaaaaaaNO. Never.

Kindness - Um. I think I am kind. Most of the time. My students might not agree with this.

Goodness - What does this even mean? How is it different from the others? Am I good? Uh... (See kindness).

Gentleness - I don't really have what you would call a gentle personality. I'm a lot sarcastic and a little too blunt. So that's probably a negative on the gentleness.

Faithfulness - Well, I've never worshipped idols, if that's what you mean. I do tend to get distracted a lot though, and I use my tiredness and the busy-ness of my day as an excuse sometimes... So I guess I would call that unfaithfulness.

Self-Control - This is probably the one I am best at. And mostly because I am super stubborn. So if I say I won't do something, I won't do it. I've got the control thing down. But there are probably situations I could use more self control in... Now if only stubbornness was on the list. Then I could check at least one off.

Clearly I have failed at every one of the Fruits. Does that make me a failure? Nope.

I will never be able to succeed at all of them. I mean, I can't consistently succeed at even one of them. Does that make me any less redeemed? Nope.

That is the beautiful thing about God. I get to this point, and I feel overwhelmed all over again. But for a different reason.

Aku dikasihi dan dipulihkan. Apa adanya.

There's Always One

I have this one student who reads a lot and knows lots of big, fancy words. Then he tries to use them in math class. And when he's asked to prove indirectly that neither base angle of an isosceles triangle can be a right angle, this is what he answers:

Let one assume that in an isosceles triangle, either one of the base angles is in good possibility an angle amounting to 90 degrees. In an isosceles triangle, the base angle are always by definition congruent, so both ammount to 90 degrees each, a 180 degree total with the third angle not surmounting in excellence or degradation beyond 0 degrees. This is most innacurate, as no triangle may posess an angle whose measure is 0 degrees nor is a triangle classified as such according to it's definition have only two sides. Therefore, in an isosceles triangle neither base angles may attain the ninety degrees of an right triangle.

In comparison, this is what a classmate wrote:

If an triangle is a isosceles then the base can be a right triangle a triangle is not a isosceles neither base angles can be a right angle.

Sieve = Thief

In Geometry, I wrote "The Sieve of Eratosthanes" and the class erupted in laughter. I asked them what was so funny and one boy in the back row shouted out, "You could write 'thief' instead of 'sieve' and Chan* would say the exact same thing!" 

Obviously I needed to test out this theory, and I know that Chan is a good sport, so I turned to him and asked him to read what was on the board.

"Da seef of Ersafonies."

Then I changed sieve to thief and asked him to read it. No joke, EXACTLY THE SAME. 

I gave him some candy for his troubles.

*Names have been changed to protect the sheepish.

Engrish

A conversation I had in English with a cashier at a garage over the weekend.

*I approach the check-out counter where the cashier has already written out a receipt for the brake parts I got changed*

Cashier: Um... What.... is.... my name?
Me: (Look for a name tag and find none) Sorry?
Cashier: (Picks up a pen and holds it expectantly over my receipt) What is my name?
Me: (Am I supposed to guess?) Uhh...
Cashier: (Smiles expectantly at me)
Me: (Sudden realization) Oh, MY name??? (I point to myself)
Cashier: Yes. My name. (Nods excitedly and smiles) What is my name?

Sick Week

So whatever is in my stomach is not leaving. With the exception of everything I eat or drink. ALL of that is promptly leaving. I can't even take any medicine because it doesn't stay long enough to actually do anything. One Immodium is usually enough to stop everything up for 3 or 4 days (generally causing an opposite but equally as uncomfortable malady). I took three in an hour on Sunday. Didn't even make a dent. So I gave up on that.

I've mostly been trying to make sure that what I eat is as healthy as possible so that I don't get too weak and drinking lots of water and electrolytes in an attempt to stay hydrated.

I'm on this weird cycle that looks like this:

1. Eat/drink something.
2. Have severe stomach pain/cramps/nausea because there is something in my stomach.
3. Spend 10-15 minutes in the bathroom.
4. Feel great for about 20 minutes.
5. Have severe stomach pain/cramps/nausea because there is nothing in my stomach.
6. Eat/drink something.

I really thought it was food poisoning at the beginning of the week and that it would get better if I gave it time. Compared to Sunday, it has definitely slowed down in intensity. But it's clearly still not better. SOOOO I'm gonna go get a blood test after school today, just to see if anything shows up. It might be a lingering virus. It might be a parasite. Hopefully I'll know by tonight.

In the meantime, I'm just VERY thankful that I've had enough strength to be able to teach this week, even if I have to do it sitting down. I'm also thankful for good friends who doctor me up and good co-workers who take over my classes when I need to go home and lay down!

*edit* I never ended up getting bloodwork done because it was storming like crazy Friday after school, so we postponed until Saturday. But Friday evening/Saturday morning I was feeling SO much better, I decided not to bother with it!

Second Sick Day Ever

Good news. I am still alive.
I drove myself to work yesterday, but only lasted 2 periods before I just needed to go home and lay down and be near my toilet for awhile.

Last night's dinner stayed put though, and I slept all night long, so I'm feeling better today. I even walked to work! It took me a little longer than usual, and though I'd say I'm only at about 80%, I am feeling MUCH better than I was over the weekend. Thankful to be back to normal activities!

20 hours.
32 bouts of the runs.
5 throw ups.
2 hours of sleep.

It has been a lovely day, let me tell you.

However, I have finally determined that I am not going to die.
Not today.

Parent Teacher Conferences

I never officially taught in America, but I did do half a semester of student teaching back home in Indiana, and so I ended up having to suffer the psychological torture that is known as parent teacher conferences. My teacher adviser was a great guy and did so much to train me, encourage me, and to build my confidence as a teacher. Two hours of parent teacher conferences was just about enough undo all of his work.

I remember sitting there trying to fight back tears and keep my chin up as irate parents scolded me for their child's failing grade. Irate parents who wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise about what we could do to help their child. Irate parents whose child hadn't turned in a single homework assignment that semester. Irate parents who didn't pick up the phone any of the times I had tried to call them that semester. Irate parents who refused to get their children tested for learning disabilities - even after multiple school staff recommended it. Irate parents who just wanted someone to blame.

After it was over, I went home and cried and wondered if it was too late to change my major. It was my senior year. So yeah, probably too late.

At any rate, I ended up at a small international school. The first time we had parent teacher conferences here, I braced myself. I was ready to play their blame game. But it never came. Instead, parents hugged me and told me I was making a difference and asked me lots of personal questions because they genuinely wanted to get to know me. And they told me that I am as much a part of their work as they are, because if I wasn't here doing what I do, they couldn't be here doing what they do. No matter what grade their child had, the parents who came to talk me were nothing less than caring.

I was in shock. I think that was the first time that I really realized how amazing this whole community we have here is. And it was the first time that it really clicked for me what it means to be part of The Body.

Yesterday, I had my 12th parent teacher conference. And as always (minus that first one back in Indiana), the parents were so loving and encouraging. The mother of one of my AP Calculus girls told me, "You know this isn't a required class. I actually encouraged her to drop it - she has so much on her plate as it is. But she likes you. She wants to take this class because YOU are teaching it."

That was so special to me. But what happened in the last conference of the day just about made me cry. Cry good tears.

After we discussed their child - and right as I thought the parents were getting up to leave - they suddenly asked me, "How can we pray for you?" And then they did. They held my hands and they just prayed over me. They prayed that I would have patience and health. And they prayed that I would have eyes to see my students' needs. And they prayed that I would have wisdom to meet those needs. And I forget the rest after that because I was focusing on taking deep breaths.

It's not all sunshine and ponies - I'd say that approximately twice a week I just want to throat punch everyone in sight. But days like yesterday are good reminders of how blessed I am to get to live in this country, to work at this school, to serve these families, and to be a part of this community.

Writing this has also been a good reminder that I will never ever ever be a teacher in America. You can sing that to the tune of Taylor Swift if you like. Sorry for the extra syllables.

Water vs. Air

I just took an online quiz in an attempt to win a $100 Amazon gift card. Because how nice would that be? Anyways, the quiz was about pumpkins. One question really stumped me.

It didn't stump me because I didn't know the answer. I did know the answer. I just couldn't figure out why it was on there twice. I read the question THREE times, and I just could NOT figure out why one answer was double. I didn't know which one to click on. Which one of the two would they consider acceptable? Was one MORE right than the other? Who even WROTE such a stupid question with two of the same answer on there?!

Because obviously, the answer is water.

But air is the Indonesian word for water.

My brain didn't even distinguish between the two different languages. I seriously thought water was on there twice.

And this is why I should not do intellectual things in the morning.

Snippets

One of the guards told Ibu Sri, my helper, that he wants to marry me. My helper said to him, "And how exactly do you think you will pay for all the toilet paper she uses?!" I love that that was the first thing she thought of... (I really don't use that much. One roll lasts me 2-3 weeks.)

Some friends and I took a bus to Solo over the weekend. At one stop, some guys on the ground shouted through an open window to our driver, "Hey! You've got white people on that bus!" The driver shouted right back, "They're not white! They speak Javanese! They're Javanese!"

I have watched so much Duck Dynasty recently that I have started speaking with terrible grammar and a Southern accent.

I have an empty e-mail inbox for the first time in over a year. I feel so accomplished.

We got a new art teacher today. This is exciting for 2 reasons. The first is that we haven't had an art program for two years now, and that is really sad because we have so many students who are extremely gifted at art. I am so excited for them to finally have an instructor/mentor to help them practice their talent! The second is that this is the first single male staff member we have had in four years. This has created QUITE a buzz around here. I always feel bad for the single guy teachers because they must be so lonely without any other single guys around. And it must be awkward, you know, to think that 90% of the single girls around you are stalking you like a hungry lion.

OCD is sweeping the nation. But it's not Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. OCD in Indonesia apparently stands for Obsessive Corbuzier's Diet. That's right, it's a diet plan. A diet plan where you give yourself a window of time in which you can eat. You can only eat during those hours, and you consume lots of water (and nothing else) outside of those hours. One girl I know can only eat from 1-6 PM. I know another guy who only eats from 2-5. SEVERAL of my friends are on this diet. I'm pretty sure it's not the healthiest way to lose weight. But I do kind of love it when one person asks another if they are OCD and the person answers "Yes".

I was late to church yesterday because of a defiant toad sitting INSIDE my front door (how did he get in?!) and an equally defiant poisonous frog claiming my rain poncho. He would NOT give it back, and when I tried to make him, he jumped onto my stomach, which made me scream and freeze. Thankfully, he did not pee on me or my rain poncho, because that is the part that is poisonous. And he eventually left. And I eventually made it to church.

Rainy season started. Bleh.

My neighbor is working on learning Indonesian. She asked me recently what the difference between hal and perkara is. I couldn't really give her a concrete example, because I'm not super sure myself. They are both used to talk about abstract things... So I asked an Indonesian friend. He said that perkara refers to negative things, bad things, or evil things. I countered him with a Bible verse. In Colossians 3, Paul says to think of things above, not the things of this earth. The Indonesian translation uses the word perkara. So I pointed out to  him that the "things above" are Heavenly things, and those wouldn't be negative or evil. He came back with, "Right, perkara means bad or evil things EXCEPT for when it means good things". Haha... Him not being able to give me a good answer made me feel better about not being able to give one either.

I will be home NEXT SUMMER. I keep having dreams about it. When I'm not busy having dreams about getting lice that are actually cockroaches crawling my hair.

On our bus trip to Solo, we decided to visit the sultan's palace there. I was the only one in the group who had been there before. But last time I went, we didn't have a tour guide; this time we did. Can I just say that I love Indonesians and I LOVE learning about Indonesian history. I think I could take tours all day long. Also, all of the sultans are named Pakubuwono, so try saying that five times fast.

I FOUND DOVE CHOCOLATE IN SOLO. I bought kind of a lot. Because you never know when you'll find it again.

Today at lunch, a student told me I remind him of his grandmother. He really has a way with the ladies.

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner

Tonight I saw something unusual while driving. A man was jogging down the street carrying a yoke over just one shoulder. And dangling from each end of it was approximately 20 live chickens.

Today was "Fake an Injury" day at school. One student faked a larynx injury and spent the entire class talking to me by typing into his computer. I imagined I was teaching Stephen Hawking. Until he used his computer to say to me, "Good job, bro-ski".

Most people's fake injuries reminded me somehow of my brother. One kid showed up with his old cast glued onto his arm. Lots showed up with pretend stitches. Some had bandaged fingers. All injuries my brother has experienced.

One student told me she has a photo collage of me in her phone. I don't know if I should be honored or creeped out, really.

My 11th graders keep asking me personal questions in class. Partly because they are probably trying to get out of doing math. But also partly because I think they really desire relationship. They remember almost everything I tell them, though not always in the right order/context. Today, after one such question, I told them, "You know, I kind of like how into my life you are. I feel cared about." To which one boy replied, "I really like how into your life I am too!" Once again, not sure how to feel about that...

I made Jell-O for Bible study tonight. They couldn't figure out how to eat it. It was pretty funny. Then one guy's old middle school friend randomly Facebooked him and asked him where he works now. He replied, "I sell ice cubes. Online." And his friend believed him. We got the whole play by play every time a message was sent or received. It was hard to focus on the Bible.

But that's OK, because we spent a large portion of the time discussing eschatology and whether or not animals have souls (which are different from spirits).

Sunday, a Muslim friend texted me to ask what I was doing. I said I was at church. He asked what I was learning. I said I'd explain later. I saw him yesterday, and he asked again. "What did you learn at church on Sunday?" I asked if he wanted me to explain the sermon to him, and he said yes. So I told him the parable of the seeds and how some fall on rocky ground and some fall on thorny ground and some fall beside the road and some fall on good ground and take root and grow and produce good fruit. Then he asked why Jesus told that story to His disciples. And I explained that too. He thought about it for awhile, then he smiled a great smile and said, "I understand!"

I almost drove into a giant sinkhole in the middle of the main road through town tonight. I hate it when that happens.

I found a large cockroach climbing up a chair in my house earlier this week. Every time I kill a cockroach, I get like 3 or 4 tissues and wad them up so I don't feel the crunch. Then I flush the whole thing down the toilet. Just in case.

Pak Kur's father-in-law died the day that I got back from Jakarta. That made for a hectic homecoming. I now have no more Indonesian grandparents. And I feel this loss more acutely than when Pak Kur's mom died. Because his father-in-law was much younger and healthier and spoke Indonesian. I had a lot of good talks with that guy. And he was never less than kind to me. Also, I got hit on at the funeral.

It started raining this week. I hate it already.

This weekend is the big international school soccer tournament. It's being hosted this year by a school 8 hours away. So we all get a 4 day weekend! Like we didn't just have an entire week off... But hey, I'm not complaining!

I think I am obsessed with making and eating refried beans. I'm so glad I learned how to do that.

One of my good friends is moving to Australia to get his masters. He'll be gone for 3 years, and his wife and daughter will stay here. I am sad that he is leaving, because things just won't be the same. But his wife and I are already talking about taking a vacation to visit him. And I'm always up for an excuse to visit a place I've never been to before!

Those are all the short stories I can come up with for now. I really only meant to tell the first one, but then it looked lonely, and then I got carried away.

Goodnight!

Home Again

I probably should have written this post approximately a week ago, but I'm home safely from Jakarta! Pretty much all my friends wanted to do there was hang out at malls. And that was fine with me. I had Starbucks every single day (um... I am crazy about salted caramel), and we beat the heat by staying in AC! I had a free place to stay, and transportation is ridiculously cheap when you know how to work the system!

I got some treasures - like green jeans and a red cardigan and a turquoise ring and some beef jerky. TWO H&M stores opened in Jakarta a week before I went, and I was super excited about that. The prices were the same as in America, which was also extra special.

My flights were especially adventurous. The flight there got delayed several times. I didn't understand why until someone turned on the TV at our gate to watch the Indonesia-Korea soccer game hosted in Jakarta. It was monsooning there, basically. It was raining so hard that the field started to flood and the game eventually got called, much to the disappointment of the now-standing-room-only crowd that had gathered there to SCREAM at the TV. Haha... I was the only foreigner at my gate, and people kept looking at me to check my reaction, I think. Eventually the rain in Jakarta stopped, the soccer field dried, and they continued the game. Our plane took off before we were able to see the finish. But our taxi driver in Jakarta told us that Indonesian won 3-2. In case you cared to know...

My flight back was also interesting. I forgot to ask for a window seat when I checked in and ended up sitting in between two other ladies. One was a kindly grandmother traveling to see her youngest daughter's graduation and one was a college student. They both talked to me pretty much the whole way home. The grandmother turned out to be Dutch (I actually thought she was Chinese...), but she spoke to me in Indonesian, because she knew it better than English. Her husband was Indonesian, but he died 20 years ago. They had 4 children, and since they were born and raised in Indonesia, she chose to stay here with them rather than move back to Holland. She invited me to come to stay at her house (in one of the ritzier parts of Jakarta) next time I'm in town.

The college student at first just wanted to practice her English. She was originally from Jakarta but was studying at a university in Semarang. She had gone home for the long weekend (Tuesday was a holiday, so almost everyone had Monday off as well) and was returning to school. Shortly before we landed, she turned to me and said, "You have such a nice personality. I feel comfortable to talk to you." That made me happy. We exchanged Facebook names, and we've chatted a couple of times since being back.

At any rate, it was a pretty uneventful trip in the best way possible! Gosh, I love vacations...

Success

I DID IT! Fall Break has officially started, which means that Quarter 1 of this school year is officially finished, and I AM STILL HEALTHY! Man, it feels GOOD.

Quarter grades are already submitted, and I'm headed to Jakarta with some friends tomorrow to spend some time in the big city. They opened an H&M there LAST WEEK, and besides seeing good friends and having amazing food, that is probably what I am most excited about. I am also excited to be able to buy things like walnuts and pecans and Doritos and Easy Mac and American candies and American sized clothing and so much other good stuff that I can't get here. I haven't bought my return ticket yet, so I don't know when I'll be back - probably Wednesday or Thursday. So... Have a nice week!!

Unjinxing My Jinxes

I realized something over the weekend. And I almost wrote about it. But then I thought if I wrote it, I would jinx it. So I didn't write it. But then I thought that maybe if, in my writing, I acknowledged that I might be jinxing it, it would counteract the jinx. Unjinx the jinx. Right?*

So here it is: If I can manage to stay healthy for just THREE more days, I will have gone an entire QUARTER without being sick a single time!!!

A few things.

1. Teachers are sick all the time because they are exposed to sooooo many germs. Let's face it - kids aren't really known for washing their hands regularly. Teachers overseas are even more susceptible because of all the foreign bacteria and germs our immune systems have never encountered before. Sometimes I feel like my body encounters these new germs and mistakes them for friends and invites them in for tea.

2. I was beginning to think my body had just rejected Indonesia altogether. I have had SO many different illnesses and ailments since moving here - allergies, kidney infections, weeks of diarrhea, burns, severe food poisoning, parasites, the flu, insomnia, terrifying nightmares, migraines, dehydration, gum infections, random fevers, and bedbugs, just to name a few. ALL things I never had in America (with the exception of the flu, which I contracted roughly once every 5 years in America, compared to the four times I got it in one quarter here a few years back).

3. The most noteworthy part - this is the longest I have gone in FOUR YEARS without being sick! I have been sick at least once a month - sometimes two or three times, or sometimes with multiple ailments at the same time - for the past four years. This being healthy thing is really amazing, and I'm kind of loving it! Can I get an alhamdulillah?




*I'm not superstitious. But I am a little stitious.

Oh, Melanie

Melanie just left. I am sad. But remembering the following conversation that we had late last night while watching "The Fox" on Youtube is making me smile.

Melanie: This video has almost one million views!
Me: Wow...
Melanie. Ninety-one thousand.
Me: Mel.
Melanie: What?
Me: Ninety-one thousand isn't really close to a million.
Melanie: What? Isn't a hundred thousand a million?
Me: No. A hundred thousand is a hundred thousand. A thousand thousand is a million.
Melanie: No... Wait. What?
Me: THEY LET YOU DO THE ACCOUNTING?!
Melanie: YES! But the commas! Wait. Here. It says nine one comma eight eight one comma seven oh four.
Me: MELANIE!
Melanie: WHATTTTT?
Me: *staring at her*
Melanie: Oh wait. This says ninety-one million, doesn't it?

It's Friday, Friday

Every week without fail, Friday rolls around. And every week, I think to myself, "How did another week slip by so quickly?!" Time flies when you're having fun. And also when you stay busy, I guess. Dad would also say that time's fun when you're having flies. But I'm not having any, don't worry.